This past weekend I attended my 20-year high school reunion. I know what you're thinking.... "Stephanie, there is NO WAY you are old enough to have graduated 20 years ago!" Yeah...I know....I graduated when I was 10....
Anyway, I did not attend my 10-year because, well, I didn't really feel like being sized up at the time. That is what your 10-year is for. What big time job do you have, what elite university did you graduate from, what impossibly good looking person did you con into marrying you. You know. But your 20-year is different. Hopefully by now we are mostly past all the petty stuff. Or at least we are individually past the point where we care.
I was not a member of the popular crowd. I'm good with that. I was actually very lucky because, while I was not high on the social ladder, they didn't much care about me or pay any attention to what I was doing. I was not picked on or anything....which is surprising considering that my non-conformist roots were very deeply planted by that time. They knew who I was because, in our community, we all pretty much grew up together. Girl Scouts, softball, dance lessons, and parents in Jaycees intertwined our lives whether we liked it or not. They know my name, but probably cannot recall what activities I was in or what music and stuff I was into. Lest you feel bad for me....they also have NO embarrassing stories to tell. See? It all comes out in the wash.
So I was excited for this reunion. One of my classmates started a Yahoo! group for our class about a year and a half ago just so we could be located and fill each other in on what we were up to. I was a little nervous even posted in the group because I was not sure if the social lines would still exist or to what degree. I think they are still there for some people and to varying degrees, but I felt pretty much accepted from the get go (and, you know, I am part of the aforementioned "past the point where I care" group).
Seeing my former classmates was surreal over and over again. I really have not seen any of these people for 20 years, so I had the shock of some of them not changing one tiny bit and others changing so much I didn't recognize them! We have really aged well, I must say. I had absolutely no idea what to expect....I really don't know how much I have changed, but I have been told that I look young for my age. Well, most of my classmates look young too! (dang...thought maybe I cornered the market on that....). And then there was the whole picnic thing and seeing them with their kids. Little mini-me's! Because I have no concept of what it must be like to be a wife and mother, hearing these miniature versions of my classmates say "mom" or "dad" to them was just WEIRD! And two of my classmates are grandparents. I won't EVEN go into that....
But I must say, as much as I hated high school and the social network that existed, I am really glad I went back for this reunion. People did grow up. Popular and unpopular people mingled. I was actually able to talk to guys I had crushes on (that, of course, went unrequited). I just wish I could go back and tell 15-year-old me that "Yes, your mother is right. Twenty years from now, it really WON'T matter." But 15-year-old me would roll her eyes at 38-year-old me as well....
(P.S. the blog title? Our class song. By Whitesnake. I wish I were kidding....)
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1 comment:
Nice blog...
I've not gotten the courage to attend any of my reunions since the tenth, which resulted in a huge party back at my house.
You feel the same way as I did... reunions are nothing if not judgemental. I actually heard through a friend that I was talked badly about for not having "done" anything with my life. This was said by someone who still lives and works in the same small town we grew up in. He knew nothing about me and yet still felt the need to judge.
I always looked at it this way... if I wanted to stay in touch with you, I did and if you wanted to stay in touch with me, you could have. Life moves at an incredible speed and the past is, was, and will always be the past. You can only change tomorrow.
By the way....
our class song was "Have a Drink on Me", that tell ya a little bit about our class mentality?
I'm guessing by the time your 25th reunion comes around, things will be 100% different. When mine came, all those husbands and wives had split and all those kids were "problems"! Be happy with your path in life... or get busy changing it.
Life has taught me nothing if not the fact that no plan ever materializes when it comes to LIFE. What you thought would be is not and what you thought could never be, is attainable if you are willing to see it when it offers itself up. I think the worst possible thing one can do in life is stay attached to high school... it was such a long time ago and relatively meaningless in the grand scheme, yet some people base their whole life on it.
I still get people who ask me if I remember this time or that time and it saddens me that they remember something from 20 years ago that was so minor in my life that I've dismissed it. Life is to be lived everday, not spent remembering what we did 20 years ago... and some of the girls that no one ever paid attention to, blossomed into the catch of a lifetime today. I guess it all depends on when you choose to peak...
I'm still working on it happening next week.
Once again... still an avid reader. Keep at it.
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