Where Are You Going?

This post brought to you by wine....love it or leave it!

I cannot promise in any way, shape or form that this will make any sense. But so be it.

I'm not happy.

Specifically, I'm not happy with me.

I came to this conclusion about a week ago. I've had my share of ups and downs. Right now I'm in a down period. I hope it doesn't last long. But, more importantly, I hope that only good comes from it. Feeling better isn't nearly as important as learning, changing, and growing. (Oooooo....so deep!)

I won't go into all the ways I'm displeased with the person I am. It would take me forever anyway. I just know that things have to change. I am someone that I wouldn't particularly want to hang out with. Not good, eh? I have just been so negative recently.....it's been toxic. I've not really shared this yet, but I am a spiritual person. I talk to God on a pretty regular basis. Again, details aren't what I want to get into right now, but I'm trying to walk the walk, so to speak.

Anyhow, my biggest dream in life is to find the man of my dreams. Read that as you will, but being single is not a happy place for me. But I realized (for maybe the ten thousandth time) the other night that meeting Mr. Where-have-you-been-all-my-life right now might not be the best thing. What do they say? "You can't love another until you love yourself"? Ain't feeling the love right now! I want a man that "loves me just as I am".....but I don't love me just as I am, so I'm thinking the timing isn't right.

It's just so hard. Will I ever get to that perfect point? Will I ever feel like I could truly be happy with or without a man? Will I ever stop worrying about how the rest of the world views my singleton status? I seem to have a lot more questions than answers. How I wish I could turn to tarot card readers or horoscopes or something to tell me my future! Just a little glimpse.....please!!

But I keep on keepin' on. Tomorrow is another day and all that. The good Lord is probably wishing I'd lay off the wine for awhile (if only!) But for right now, I will snuggle under the covers and cuddle with my kitty. I mean, how could you not just love and chuckle at this face?

Hi! I suck at this blog thing!

Thank goodness no one is counting on me to write on this thing every day because they would be so overwhelmingly disappointed.....

Ok so....house news. After weeks of stress wondering "will I get the house?", "have I gotten all my paperwork in?", "is anyone ever going to call me back?" I does look like this thing is a go! I still don't know when the actual building will begin, but I drove by last night and the lot has been cleared:


And how exciting is it that I have trees! I am assuming that these will stay since they did clear out a few dead ones already. I was also excited to find out that I have a "driveway" (actually, a paved "ramp" leading up to my yard) This is great because I really want to be able to park alongside the house or even in the back (fingers crossed that the deck is high enough to park under).

So now I wait. I will drive by again on Saturday and see if anything has changed. This is just too cool!

Other news snippets:

• I bought a ticket to see The Police in Dallas on June 27th! STING!!!!!! I am going by myself, which is a bit of a bummer....but it's STING!!!!!
• I am going to see a Stars game this Saturday and I'm hoping to meet Ralph & Razor (our announcers). They are just too cool. No one can make me laugh more during a hockey game....
• I finished the Magic Scarf (pictures soon....I promise!) and am now working on jungle animals for Michelle's twins. I've been overloaded with the baby stuff recently....though I can't complain too much since it gives me the chance to work on some new things...

Ok....St. Patrick's Day Resolution....must post more often! (because, some day, someone may actually read this and will want to hear from me more than once every two weeks)