Let The Tears Splash All Over You

Today is my last day at work. I've known this day was coming since the beginning of October. But that doesn't seem to be cushioning the blow.

I am an odd mix of emotions since I've been over this place for quite a while....I've wanted to leave for some time. But the circumstances are not exactly what I had in mind. I am very controlling when it comes to change....I get cranky when things happen that I did not make a pro/con list first! And no matter what, it is still hard to leave the people I have worked with for the past 6 years. And, to be quite honest, I am scared. This is the absolute worst time to be out of work. I survived the post-9/11 unemployment boom....but this is much much worse.

I hope my temp agencies can find me work. I hope I don't lose my house. I hope I don't get behind on bills or get turned over to collection agencies. I hope I can find a new job.

So today will be a rough day. I have already cried once (it's the hugs, people....they get me every time). Tonight my co-workers and I will be going out for dinner and drinks. Once that glass of wine hits, the floodgates will be opened with no ceasing!

Here's to surviving the storm and having my own success story to tell.....

My Grown-Up Christmas List

Hi Santa! I know you must be busy, what with all the Wii's you have to load up and such. But I was wondering if you could just take a moment to look over my list. I'm sure somewhere along the way I've done something worthy of at least a few of these things:

1) An extended winning streak for my Stars (and a Stanley Cup....for good measure....)

2) An extended winning streak for my Penguins (sorry, Pens, I have to show favoritism to my Stars. Can you wait until next year for the Cup? Thanks for understanding! Love you!)

3) To finally figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life career-wise. I have to think being an administrative assistant ain't it....

4) A successful first year for our new President. There is a lot riding on him and I can't imagine the pressure. I'm not expecting miracles....just a little light at the end of the tunnel

5) Another trip to Europe before I'm 40 (so, see? I'm giving you TWO Christmas's to make this happen....)

6) Good tickets to at least one of my three DMB shows this year

7) That my little Roaming Penguins continue to meet their real-life counterparts (and that maybe I'll get to meet the real-life counterparts myself ;) )

8) Snow for Nashville

9) Patience, compassion, humbleness, sincerity, genuineness, courage, focus, strong work ethic, maturity, selflessness, humility, ambition, social skills, discipline, an infectious smile, self esteem and strength. Oh, and this is all for me. Though if you have enough left over, I'm sure there are others that could use a little of this as well....

10) A Dave Matthews look-alike for my very own (and if he could play guitar like Dave....and write songs like Dave....and have a voice like Dave....that would be fabulous!)

11) A turnaround of the economy

12) An end to global warming....hybrids for everybody!

13) A bottomless gift card to iTunes

14) A little more love. A little less hate. And a lot more tolerance.

15) A lifetime supply of Reisling

16) A lifetime supply of Logan's Roadhouse rolls

17) An overactive metabolism

18) An attention span

19) Another wonderful, purr-filled year with Josey

20) World peace

Making a list and checking it twice

There are many things I enjoy about being single. For instance, I can sit on my couch in my underwear, watch a "Saved By The Bell" marathon and eat frosting from a can and no one is going to walk in and say "What are you wearing/watching/eating??" I can also let the housework go without offending anyone but myself. There are perks....I am comfortable enough with my singleton-ness to admit that.

But then there are times when having a member of the male persuasion might be just a tad nice. Like when I'm decorating for Christmas. I am not altogether fond of the decorating process. It is often frustrating and exhausting. I so enjoy the end result and then want to leave lights, trees, garland and wreaths up all year. But the "joy" of getting all that crap up leaves lots to be desired. I almost didn't decorate this year because my frustration level hit an all-time high two weekends ago. Let's just say there was blood and tears shed by the truckloads. Ho, ho, ho.

I did finally give in a little and put my tree up tonight. There are lights on it....but that's as far as I've gotten. I am going to allow myself to say "enough" when I feel I've hit my limit (not every surface of my entire house has to look like Christmas threw up on it). This may mean that stuff I would love to see doesn't get done (can we talk about my light obsession? cause I could seriously send my electric bill into five figures if I had the chance). It would just be nice if the entire burden wasn't all on me...share the love, so to speak!

Then there's that whole "sharing time with the one I love during the holidays" thing....but since I have accepted that my Mr. Right existing is less likely than St. Nick himself, we'll just skip that whole song and dance...

Well it's a pretty good day

Days where just about everything goes right are rare, so I need to give yesterday it's props!

1) All Hail The Chief

When I saw Obama give the speech at the Democratic Convention in 2004, I thought "He should run for President. I would sooooo vote for him." Thanks for listening, Barack! I'm not going to go into a long-winded political speech, but, I think this is going to be a very good thing. It is change...and that's what you do when things are going terribly wrong. Do I expect things to be all rainbows and lollypops from now on? No. But I think things are going to happen. And I'm ready to be proud to be from the good ol' U.S. of A. again....

2) Working For A Living

Things at my Place of Employment have not been good for a long while. I haven't been happy anyway and found out a month ago that my job was being eliminated because of budget cuts. Last week I was offered another position at our agency.....a position I don't particularly want (for reasons that go on and on and on). But I am learning not to cut off my nose to spite my face as I get older and was seriously wrestling with whether to take it or not (there are a lot of little factors at play here). I thought I would have to make a decision rather quickly, but have learned that there are options, so I'm glad I have more time and that there are things that may change everything and make it better. Also, after about a week of not seeing any job postings I liked, I found two today. Sending out my resume always makes me feel like I'm trying. There may be hope.

3) Money (That's What I Want)

My parents got me a gift certificate to Amazon for my birthday so I could order an external CD burner. I ordered one at the end of September and learned a few weeks later that UPS showed they delivered it. I saw no evidence of said package. I wrote to the company I ordered it from and they simply wrote back and said "UPS showed it was delivered" I wrote to them and said "well, it ain't here" (you know....something like that) I didn't hear back. I wrote again and they said they'd check with UPS and get back to me. I didn't hear back. I went in to leave this company a negative review and saw someone else had left a comment that said Amazon's A-to-Z Guarantee got them their money back. I tried it. It worked!! Yay for the little guy!!

4) Roamin', Roamin', Roamin'

Things are going swimmingly with the Roaming Penguins! I really need to do a follow-up post with pictures and stories....people are so creative! But the best thing so far is a Yarn Penguin got to meet his Human Penguin! I sent a Marc Andre Penguin to Kaitlin and Nicole and they took him to see Marc Andre Fleury this weekend. I was beyond thrilled.....a real NHL superstar was holding this little thing I created.....just wow! And they explained the project to him, so it wasn't just "here, sign this stuffed animal" Our little roamers are making a big splash!

So, yeah, all the planets were aligned and karma smiled down on me. Doesn't happen very often, so I'll take it when I can get it!!

Lying on the roof...counting...the STARS that fill the sky...

Well, this post is a tad overdue....sometimes real life just gets in the way....

So, I'm a huge Dallas Stars stalker....ummmm...I mean....fan. A few years ago, after the lockout, my sister and I went to a practice and got autographs after. That's one thing I love about my Stars....having that setup so that the fans can get face-to-face is the best idea ever. We got to meet everyone from the 2005 team except Zubov. It was a mostly positive experience with the exception of Mike Modano. I won't go into details, but I went away with a bad taste in my mouth from that meeting. Thankfully, Marty Turco made up for it and I got this lovely picture here:

Please don't ever let me cut my hair that short again...

Well, I found out about two years ago that the Stars stay at the Hilton across from the arena and they just walk back and forth for practice and the game! I decided that it is too sweet of an opportunity to miss getting to say hi when they are a mere two miles from my house, so I headed downtown on a Saturday to see what I could see and was rewarded handsomely for my stalkerish ways!

There were probably about 20 people there....most of them of the professional autograph seeker type. But the system worked pretty well....we all hung out at the top of the drive, lined up and let the players come to us. Now, I have met many, many celebrities. I have worked on music videos, worked for CMT, went to Fan Fair for a few years, etc., etc. My experience has in NO WAY made me any better about knowing what in the hell to say to them. So I keep my mouth shut. It's charming, I'm sure. I pretty much just said "thank you very much" to each of them and that's it. And, with a few exceptions, I'm really not that into autographs. I would much rather have a picture with a celebrity than their autograph. But I was there by myself with no "photographer" on hand, so I went the autograph route just to do something....

I'm pretty happy with how things went....I got to meet Turco and Morrow right off the bat (Brenden Morrow is taller than I thought he was!). A bunch of the new guys came up and, sadly, I didn't recognize most of them! But thankfully they all sign their names with their number....so I could figure it out later. My first BIG thrill was seeing Daryl "Razor" Reaugh. He is our color commentator. That's right....I was thrilled I got to meet one of our announcers! But if you've ever gotten to hear Ralph and Razor, you would know why. They are the best (and I am not at ALL biased). They are both sarcastic and knowledgable and Razor is constantly spouting off "Razorisms".....phrases or made up words that crack me up. I write them all down. And I told him this (yeah, I'm fun at dinner parties). Anyway, he seemed pleasantly surprised that I even knew who he was (read above: professional autograph hounds). I was so beyond thrilled that I called my mom right after. Because I knew she'd understand.

Mar-ty! Mar-ty! Mar-ty!

Yes, Brenden Morrow is on the phone....he didn't miss a beat in his conversation though...

The infamous Razor (I think these people were only getting his autograph after seeing me do it. I'm pretty sure they didn't know who he was...)

The second big thrill came when Mike Modano came out. I was a tad apprehensive, but he has now redeemed himself in my eyes (and even moreso later!). I had him sign the puck I bought commemorating his 503rd goal....which made him the American-born scoring leader AND was scored IN Nashville at a game I attended.

As the players came out of practice, I did catch a few more (though Steve Ott snapped at one of the "professionals" and I didn't approach him after that). When Modano came out, I was determined to get a picture with him. I finally turned to the guy next to me and asked him if he would oblige (the reason this was so hard was because everyone had their own agenda and moved from player to player....I may have caused this guy to miss someone while he was helping me). Anyway, I finally got my picture with Mike Modano...so now I can die somewhat happy!

I don't know....can you tell I'm stoked? I think I hid my excitement pretty well, right?

I stuck around and got to meet Ralph (our play-by-play guy)....he walked through a group of people that hardly noticed him and when he got near me, I said "Ralph?" and he looked shocked and asked, "are you from Dallas?" I proudly told him I was and congratulated him on the new contract he and Razor had just signed to stay until 2012 (I think). He was impressed I knew that (thanks for the info, Mom!). I was also the only one that recognized Coach Tippett (c'mon! I know what most of the NHL coaches look like! Wake up, people!)

So, all-in-all, it was a pretty successful day. The Stars will be back in town in December and I'm going to drag my friend Nancy down there to be my photographer. All I want is pictures. And maybe by then I will have memorized more faces (thank you, Center Ice!). Someone better warn the Stars that I'm coming.....

It's Out of My Hands for now....

Ok, I was writing (very slowly) a post about my love for fall and all that....but it's gonna take a slight back seat to other things....

So, things here at my Place of Employment are not good. I have not been happy for awhile. Basically, I'm bored. I have used this boredom to my advantage because I am buried in penguin orders and can actually get some of them done during the day (my employers know I am bored...and they know I do this....and they are all like "more power to you" because they're bored too). And I have embraced the fact that I am not defined by my "day job" and more by what I do with my free time. But change is a-comin'....

We just found out that our budget is being cut IN HALF. Things are rough all over, folks, and heads are going to roll. We just don't know which heads. I'm not sure where I fall in the pecking order around here so I don't know how much danger I am in. But I think taking measures is a pretty safe bet. I've been looking for a way out....but it's always nicer to do it on YOUR time rather than someone else's. We've been told nothing will happen until January 1st (but when it comes to stuff like this, you hate to depend on trusting THAT statement). All the not-knowing is giving me quite the headache.

So I've started dusting off my resume and have realized that I don't know if any of the Resume Rules have changed. I guess I know what I'll be doing this weekend, huh? I just hate thinking that I am going to go to yet another "transitional job" once again (the job I work until I can figure out what I REALLY want to do). If I could make a living with my knitting and crocheting, I would do it in a heartbeat. But do you want to pay $40 for a little crocheted penguin? Yeah, probably not. So I'm stuck doing administrative work....not something I particularly love, but it's where my skills have fallen. I can tell you that being proficient in Microsoft Word does NOT get me out of bed excited in the morning! But in the economy we've got going right now, I'm really not going to be very picky. If you've got a job opening, I'll take it!

I'm hoping I feel more like posting about and celebrating fall soon. I think I'll feel better once my resume is ready to go and I can start sending it off (I always feel better when I'm *doing something* about my situation). I'm also going to be spending some time talking with the Big Guy upstairs....I'm working hard on that whole trusting/faith/listening/giving it up/not worrying thing. So far I'm failing miserably, but tomorrow's another day, right? I hear He's got oodles of patience...which I test on a pretty regular basis! Such a joy I am!

Here I Go Again

This past weekend I attended my 20-year high school reunion. I know what you're thinking.... "Stephanie, there is NO WAY you are old enough to have graduated 20 years ago!" Yeah...I know....I graduated when I was 10....

Anyway, I did not attend my 10-year because, well, I didn't really feel like being sized up at the time. That is what your 10-year is for. What big time job do you have, what elite university did you graduate from, what impossibly good looking person did you con into marrying you. You know. But your 20-year is different. Hopefully by now we are mostly past all the petty stuff. Or at least we are individually past the point where we care.

I was not a member of the popular crowd. I'm good with that. I was actually very lucky because, while I was not high on the social ladder, they didn't much care about me or pay any attention to what I was doing. I was not picked on or anything....which is surprising considering that my non-conformist roots were very deeply planted by that time. They knew who I was because, in our community, we all pretty much grew up together. Girl Scouts, softball, dance lessons, and parents in Jaycees intertwined our lives whether we liked it or not. They know my name, but probably cannot recall what activities I was in or what music and stuff I was into. Lest you feel bad for me....they also have NO embarrassing stories to tell. See? It all comes out in the wash.

So I was excited for this reunion. One of my classmates started a Yahoo! group for our class about a year and a half ago just so we could be located and fill each other in on what we were up to. I was a little nervous even posted in the group because I was not sure if the social lines would still exist or to what degree. I think they are still there for some people and to varying degrees, but I felt pretty much accepted from the get go (and, you know, I am part of the aforementioned "past the point where I care" group).

Seeing my former classmates was surreal over and over again. I really have not seen any of these people for 20 years, so I had the shock of some of them not changing one tiny bit and others changing so much I didn't recognize them! We have really aged well, I must say. I had absolutely no idea what to expect....I really don't know how much I have changed, but I have been told that I look young for my age. Well, most of my classmates look young too! (dang...thought maybe I cornered the market on that....). And then there was the whole picnic thing and seeing them with their kids. Little mini-me's! Because I have no concept of what it must be like to be a wife and mother, hearing these miniature versions of my classmates say "mom" or "dad" to them was just WEIRD! And two of my classmates are grandparents. I won't EVEN go into that....

But I must say, as much as I hated high school and the social network that existed, I am really glad I went back for this reunion. People did grow up. Popular and unpopular people mingled. I was actually able to talk to guys I had crushes on (that, of course, went unrequited). I just wish I could go back and tell 15-year-old me that "Yes, your mother is right. Twenty years from now, it really WON'T matter." But 15-year-old me would roll her eyes at 38-year-old me as well....

(P.S. the blog title? Our class song. By Whitesnake. I wish I were kidding....)

There's bad times, but that's ok

Whew. It's been a rough week. I had the occasional welling up of the eyes after getting the news of LeRoi's death on Wednesday. But it all hit full on after I downloaded the band's show from Tuesday night. They opened with Bartender ("if I go, before I'm old, dear brother of mine, please don't forget me, if I go") and then Dave made the announcement to the crowd. It was heartwrenching. I could hear his voice was different and that pain opened the floodgates. They played all of Roi's favorites and the drive and passion was very apparent. I understand that Carter was crying during Proudest Monkey. Dave did more primal screaming than normal throughout. So Damn Lucky now has new meaning and Dave told the story of when he first saw LeRoi and he played the "most beautiful "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" I've ever heard". And then there was Two Step....Carter probably broke cymbals right and left on that one. It was incredible.

I'm not sure what the future of the band will be, but I hope they continue on. I would think Roi would want them to. We will see though. They are continuing with the tour....only about two weeks left and then I'm sure we won't hear anything for months. Whatever decision they make, I will accept it. It won't be an easy one and they have to do what's best for them. I could see them no longer doing studio albums and just touring....which would be fine by me seeing as I don't listen to the studio stuff long after they release it anyway! Their live stuff is where it's at and if they just keep putting out Live Trax, that would satisfy the majority of their fan base.

Ugh. It just SUCKS! I love this band so much....they are more than just a group of guys that plays music. All five of them are so immensely talented and they all play such a huge part in each song. And their music has been the soundtrack of my life for so many years. One of them being gone leaves a huge and unfillable hole. No more soulful solos, no more "If I Only Had A Brain" pennywhistle at the end of Bartender, no more dark shades, no more "our good friend, LeRoi Moore on the saxophone", and no more tremendous presence stage left.

We will all miss you, LeRoi. Thank you for sharing your talent with us and we will see you soon "over the rainbow"...

Life is short but sweet for certain

I just found out a moment ago that LeRoi Moore, saxophonist for my beloved Dave Matthews Band, has died. (article here)

I can't put in words my sadness. I know I always refer to the band as "Dave" but there were five members and each of them were just as important and talented as the next. I loved them as a whole.

I just can't believe this.

God bless you, LeRoi. The band and your fans will miss you dearly.

September 7, 1961 - August 19, 2008

What you've become is what you are

I have always been in awe of people that have exceptional talent, drive and determination. People who focus on a goal and give their heart and soul to it. And most of these people start the journey before they are old enough to enter kindergarten! I'm pretty sure my goals at the tender age of four included getting mom to take me to the park so I could see how high I could swing.

So I wonder.....do these young prodigies ever whine that they don't want to practice? Do they want to give up and do something else? I'm sure there are those whose parents are a driving force....not letting them give up or quit. But I believe many of them just have it in themselves to plow ahead. Every time the Olympics roll around, you hear all about the hours these young athletes put in. The stuff they have missed and how they don't really get to be "regular" kids. This is totally a foreign concept to me as I was always a big whiner and hated practicing....I just wanted to be good without putting the work in!

So I've spent a lot of time envying these folks (and not just athletes.....but anyone that has known early on where they were going in life). Why couldn't I be that way? Why am I still trying to figure it out at age 38? But then in dawned on me (hit me over the head like a lead brick)....these go-getters could actually envy me too. They figured out at the age of three that they wanted to be a major league baseball player. So they practiced and played baseball almost constantly. Eat, drink, sleep baseball. They achieve their dreams and couldn't be happier about it. But do they ever, just once, think "I spent my whole childhood on baseball. I wonder what it would have been like to take piano lessons? Or to try my hand at writing stories?" (this is not to say that if you are exceptionally good at something you don't have ANY other talents or do anything else, you understand).

I don't know if I have one true talent. I don't believe I was wired to follow a set dream from childhood to adulthood. My what-I-want-to-be has changed more times than I can count. But I don't tend to have the attention span to go all out. But maybe that's not a bad thing. In my life I've been a dancer, a softball player, a singer, a writer, a swimmer, a skier, a drummer, a knitter/crocheter, a photographer, a gymnast, a psychologist, a cross-stitcher, a guitarist, a scuba diver, a signer, a travel agent, a teacher and a decorator (to name a few!). Did I ever get paid to do any of these things? Nope. Never did any of them professionally. But they are things I have had a passion for at one time or another. Things I threw myself into and loved at the time. I have had VARIETY through my life.....and I guess that's what works for me. Perhaps I was never meant to do one thing. Pursue one dream. Maybe I was just meant to try it all. Be kinda good at many things instead of really good at one or two things.

Which brings me to my next point. I have become increasing annoyed with the question, "So? What do you do?" Obviously, the person wants to know what my job is. But for me, my "job" could not reflect who I am any less. First of all, I have to tell people that basically I do computer stuff. Ok, right off the bat, they are thinking "computer geek" and that I'm a techie. Ummmm. No. Actually, I know almost nothing about hardware. And I really don't care to. I know a lot more about software. I know my way around Word, Excel, Powerpoint, etc. pretty well (and if I don't know how to do something, I know where to find out how). I kinda fell into this work and over the years have just continued to learn a little more. But when people ask what I "do", I would much rather answer with what I do when I'm NOT at work. Because that is who I really am. I want to tell people that I'm an artist (right now with sticks and string), that I'm a traveler, that I "work" for non-profits like Gilda's Club and Make-A-Wish, that I am a musician if only just in my soul, that I strive for justice and to make things right and easier for others, that I'm a therapist, that I'm a cheerleader, supporter and defender for the musicians, sports teams, and causes that I love, I'm a tree-hugger, a pacifist, a non-conformist and a hippie.

And if I could make a living doing all those things, I would!! But I could never even pick just one and make it a career. So I will keep doing what I'm doing during the day to keep a roof over my head and food in my mouth. And I will just have to accept that the multitude of things I listed is what I'm going to "be" when I grow up.

Cause the non-conformist in me says "who decided our career was what we are to begin with!"

Fly! Be Free!!

Well, my little flightless water fowl have officially entered the merchandising world! You can see all the deets on The Sidney Crosby Show

I was scared to death when Jodie posted what I wrote. I really had no idea if anyone would want one or if 200 people would e-mail me in the first 30 seconds. But the response has been perfect! The post went up on Friday and as of a few minutes ago, I have 33 orders. I did most of the work on thirteen penguins before the post....all they needed was numbers and sticks (have to put them in the correct "wing"). Unfortunately, I didn't think that would take all that long. It did. I spent most of the weekend on it. Live and learn.

But today I have ten penguins in envelopes ready to go to the post office. And I must say, as I packed them up, I started to tear up a little. These little guys have been perched around my living room for a few weeks now. And just looking at all those faces made me feel like I was sending my children into the world!

I hope they all enjoy their new homes in Austin, Omaha, Norman, Ontario, Pittsburgh, Nova Scotia, Gibsonia, North Tonawanda, Chicago, and Clifton! Soon they will have teammates flying off to other exotic destinations. They just better call or write once in awhile...don't forget where you came from, boys!

The boys get in one more game before they head to their new homes
(notice Mario....always looking on :) )

Me and my "babies"
Fly! Be free!!

Birthdays: Love 'em? Hate 'em? First caller.....

Today is my birthday. I have a love/hate relationship with this day. Always have. Today I turn 38, which is not an age you want to announce to the world ("I know everyone's jealous cause I'm 38!") But, hey, at least it's not 40. I am dreading that one with every fiber of my being.

So my love relationship.....

Birthdays are your special day. I still turn over sometime after midnight and smile. I walk around all day thinking "you have to be nice to me....it's my birthday!" No matter how old I get and how much I hate seeing that number tick up one more year, I can't help feeling like a kid today.

Now for the hate part....

Obviously, I hate getting older. I am fortunate enough that I don't look my age. Thank god for good genes. But another year is just a reminder that I am nowhere near where I would like to be and am actually so far behind I may never catch up. Most people my age are much more mature and have accomplished loads more than I have. I still haven't figured out what I want to be yet!

Second? I am single. I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does. I mean, I know if I hear of a man or woman that's in their upper 30's that's never been married, I think "what's wrong with them?" (hypocritical much?) And, so, I wonder what's wrong with me. Now, for the record, it's not like I want to be married at all costs. My last boyfriend was all ready to marry me. But I knew he wasn't the one. But my doubts about there being a Mr. Right out there are growing by the year. I'm certainly not going to be settled down before 40. Bummer.

Eh....I could go on with the hate part (like my friends don't seem to make a big deal out of my birthday), but I'm going to go out and try to enjoy this day.

"Every day has it's way of being forgotten,
Mom, it's my birthday! Would you say..."

See this crowd.....five billion proud...

It's taken me a few days to get to this....my head is swimming with other things. Focusing is somewhat elusive at the moment!

I cannot say enough how much I love the Dave Matthews Band (otherwise known as "Dave"). And this weekend is one I start looking forward to the day after the second show!

This is the second year my sidekick, Sara, and I pointed the car due north and headed to lovely Indianapolis. Why do we go to Indy, you might ask? Well, Dave and the boys play only a few two-night stands every summer. They are almost always great sets and the crowds tend to be more on the die-hard side than the "going just to say you're going" group. I specifically picked Deer Creek not only because it's the closest of the two-nighters for us, but because you can camp AT the venue. No driving. No parking. Walk half a mile to and from. Priceless.

Last year we met a group of folks that do this every year and they invited us to camp with them this year (we are sooooo special). They arrived Thursday night and got us a good, off-the-beaten-path site. We got there around 2:00 on Friday (ok, we got a tad lost after we got off the highway.....the jury is still out on who's fault THAT was). We got the tent set up and then joined the group for a little eating, drinking and being merry. These guys are very chill....we're all "older" (meaning we are not members of the high school/college set). We all just sit around the campfire and relax....there is no drunken, obnoxious, loud, passing out partying. Just my speed!


Night 1 was, in a word, amazing. This was show #18 for me....I am no longer a neophyte and I know what I like and don't like. I will say this to get it out of the way....the encore left me a little tepid. But the main set got better and better as time went on. Just when I thought they were done with the "biggies" (Two Step, Proudest Monkey, Dancing Nancies), they'd break into another one. I got to hear Dreaming Tree for the first time. God, I love that song! By the time they got to the jam in #41, I was near tears. Seriously. It was THAT good! Normally, for a two-nighter, you expect Night 2 to be the better of the two. I was having a hard time believing they could beat this show. It could honestly be the best one I've seen yet.

Saturday was another day of chilling, drinking, and relaxing. We walked over to Hippieville (a line of booths selling jewelry, crystals, clothes, food, and....ummmmm....pretty glass pipes you can display on your mantle (*ahem*). I took a shower which did a lot of good for, I'd say, 2 1/2 minutes. But, man, did that ice cold water feel good! I was anxious for the show but also aware that that was it for another year....always a little sad :(

Sara and I are ready for Night 2!

Night 2 did not disappoint. I am usually not a fan of opening a show with a slower song.....but hearing the first notes of Seek Up set the tone for a great set! Granny and Grey Street back-to-back are two songs I can never hear enough of. And Crush was above and beyond the best I've ever heard. They ended the night with Sly and the Family Stone's Thank You. They let the crowd sing....Dave danced like a crazy man...it was the perfect way to end the night!

But all good things must come to an end. We rolled out of bed at 9:00 the next morning and started packing up. I hated for the weekend to end, but must say I was looking forward to a real bed and a very long shower. As is tradition, we started making notes for next year! (must bring this, don't need to bother with that). Now that I'm back in the real world, I have downloaded both shows and have listened to them ad nauseum. This is another thing I love about this band....they allow tapers at the shows and you can download them for free. Thanks Dave!!

Oh, and in case the Penguin faithful are tuning in.....Sidney Penguin had a great time, despite the fact that penguins generally are not very fond of the heat.....

Sidney P. catches a few Zzzzz's before the show...

Penguins, Dave and a nostalgia update!

How's that for variety!

So, my picture of Sidney Penguin around Nashville created an interest in my little guy. I am now knee deep in penguin parts! (ok, that sounds gross....no penguins were harmed!). I will be selling them fairly soon through The Sidney Crosby Show. Half of the proceeds will go to the Mario Lemieux Foundation....cause I like my yarn art to serve the greater good.

Anyway, I am trying to get ahead of the game by creating a bunch of penguins before offering them up to fly off to other parts of the world. I started by making 20 sets of all the "parts" (beaks, eyes, wings, sticks, etc.). Now I am crocheting up the heads and bodies (all one piece). Yesterday I worked on three special penguins that are part of something Jodie is setting up. My biggest sticking (ha!) point is the numbers. I am putting numbers on their backs and on one wing. This is turning out to be a little more difficult than I thought. I just can't get them to look right. I may end up sucking it up and buying the numbers at Hobby Lobby or JoAnn's (this will cut into my already meager profits.....but I want them to look good!).

And all these penguin odds and ends will be accompanying me to Indiana this weekend!

DAVE!!!!!!!!!

Sara and I will be heading due north to Indianapolis to spend two wonderful nights with my friends, the Dave Matthews Band (I do wish they really were my friends....so far it's all one sided though...). We did this last year for the first time since Nashville closed it's outdoor amphitheater, Starwood. Music City, huh? Whatever. I am hoping for decent weather since I don't do heat very well. Last year we really lucked out....it was actually cold at night! I doubt we get that two years in a row, but anything under 90 degrees will be a welcome relief.

So what are my hopes, dreams and aspirations for this year's tour? Well, for one thing, Butch Taylor, long time piano player (but not actual member) for the band has left. I'm indifferent about his leaving. He was good, but piano solos aren't really my thing. Joining Dave and Co. this summer is Mr. Tim Reynolds (who tours with Dave himself when he does the solo thing). Timmy is insanely talented and a true fan favorite. I am looking forward to hearing him with the full band.

Another very unexpected change is the absence of Leroi Moore (saxophone) due to an ATV accident a few weeks ago. He's been in and out of the hospital due to his injuries. Get well soon, Leroi! Taking his place is Jeff Coffin of Bela Fleck and the Flecktones. Another fan fave (and an alum of my beloved University of North Texas!). I hear he's tearing things up!

I've been watching the setlists and, as usual, there are some interesting things happening there. Covers of "Money" by Pink Floyd, "Thank You" by Sly and the Family Stone, and "Melissa" by the Allman Brothers have all made appearances. "Corn Bread" and "Eh Hee" are back from last year (love both of these!). And "The Dreaming Tree" has been played one night of each of the two-night sets. I have never gotten this song and it is a personal favorite. My ultimate would be "I'll Back You Up". I could then die happy.

And last, but not least, a review of my Trip Down Memory Lane!

Ok, Season Three of the Muppet Show is definitely better than Season One. Miss Piggy and Janice's voices are normal. Pigs in Space is in the lineup. There's a lot more Dr. Bunson and Beaker. And, all around, more laugh out loud moments. However, it's still not exactly what I was hoping for. I don't know, maybe all of it is a whole lot more entertaining to an 8-year-old (though that's when my maturity stopped, so I don't know what the problem is). I'm just not having as many "oh my god! I remember this!" moments as I thought. I will more than likely get the second and third disks though. And I am looking forward to them releasing the remaining seasons (I believe there were six). But next up? Rocky and Bullwinkle.....

It's time to play the music, It's time to light the lights

Next weekend is going to be a crazy busy weekend away as I go to see the Dave Matthews Band up in Indiana (can.not.wait!). So I'm going to try to chill this weekend and enjoy a little downtime. And that will include....

The Muppet Show!!

I got the first disk of season three from Netflix yesterday. I am excited. I am also hoping to not be disappointed. See, I got the season one set a few years back and, while it's good, it's not the Muppet Show I remember. Miss Piggy and Janice's voices are not the same. There is very little Swedish Chef and Sam the Eagle. No Pigs In Space or Bunson and Beeker. And besides a laugh out loud moment or two, it wasn't really all that funny.

That's why I skipped to season three. I want to see the show I remember as a kid. My sister and I would sit on the floor in front of the tv every Saturday night at 6:30. Mom would make homemade pizza and we would lay down newspapers so pizza sauce would not make it onto the carpeting. Oh and the giggling. You know when you're at that age where EVERYTHING is funny? The Muppets came during that age. One skit I remember making us laugh until our sides hurt involved the song The Witch Doctor. The character playing the song had a xylephone make of little fuzzy balls that would yell out has he bopped them on the head ("Ooo!" "Eee!" "Ooo!" "Ah, Ah!") Something about those fuzz balls struck the funny bone. I hope I find it and it makes me laugh just as hard as when I was eight.

I relish being a child of the 70's....being a part of the first Seseme Street generation (the first season was the year before I was born), watching Romper Room, Bozo the Clown (we lived in Chicago where the original Bozo was taped), Zoom, Electric Company, Mr. Rogers, Land of the Lost, all the Sid and Marty Croft stuff (H.R. Pufnstuf anyone?) then later moving on to Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, Three's Company (all on Tuesday night), Mork and Mindy,
and even watching M*A*S*H* at my grandparents house. Life was good.

So I'm ready for some nostalgia. Some laughs. Some Animal chasing a female guest star yelling "Wo-Man! Wo-Man!"

Bork! Bork! Bork!

The adventures of Sidney Penguin

My love for the Dallas Stars dates back to very early 1994. They are my team forever and ever, amen. However.....I have adopted another hockey team in recent months (shock! awe!). The Pittsburgh Penguins showed up on my radar in December. Actually, Sidney Crosby showed up....the rest of the team followed.

My love for Sidney Crosby knows no bounds (well, ok, maybe a few bounds....but not many). One day when I have hours upon hours on end to blabber away about him, I certainly will. But today I'm going to skip ahead to the matter at hand....the adventures of my little Sidney Penguin!

I am a faithful reader of The Sidney Crosby Show, which is run by the amazing Jodie (seriously, her recaps of games are amazing....she sees so much and doesn't even have the magic of Tivo to rewind!). During the summer slow time, she asked each of us to send in a picture of us with our Pens stuff and wanted us to represent all the places in the world we are located. I have no Pens stuff yet. But I have Sidney Penguin. So Sidney went on a Nashville adventure:

(you'll have to click this one to read the caption)

And here is the final, photoshopped product I sent to The Show:

(again, click to see the enlarged version)

This project was so fun to put together! There were difficulties, however.....I had a hard time finding a good spot to get Sidney next to the Batman building. And I didn't want people to see what I was doing ("who's the crazy lady holding up a stuffed penguin and taking pictures??"). I actually had a million ideas of other places to get pictures, but I felt Jodie would kill me if I sent an entire photo album to her! Soooooooo.....

I think I will continue Sidney's adventures here on my own blog! Who knows where Sidney will end up....you'll just have to stay tuned to find out :)

Another installment of My Favorite Things

And now you have that song in your head, don't you?? Sorry! Ok, onward and upward....

1) I saw the story of James O'Neal on the CNN website one day last month and it just reached out and grabbed me. James was born with Neurofibromatosis. As a child he had surgery pretty much every year to keep up with the growths on his face. His dad would take the family on a summer vacation after his surgeries so he could recover and have fun. When he turned 18 he didn't have any more insurance to cover more surgeries. The tumors have stopped growing now and he would love to have the last procedures done.

After the story ran, things went nuts in the donation department! As of this writing, I believe they have raised $100,000 for James' surgery! People can be so awesome. I sent in a little moola and have been keeping up with the story on a blog started by some friends/customer's of James. Also, his local tv station, KOMO, has done really well doing follow-up stories.

Even if you can't give, I recommend you stay tuned to this story. James has an awesome attitude considering his circumstances and I can't wait to read more about his upcoming surgery. Go James, go!!

2) On a completely different subject.....one of my friends sent me this link and it has provided many laughs and agreeing head bobs.

Stuff White People Like

First, you must know it is all highly sarcastic. If you are easily offended (#101 on the list, by the way), you might want to skip it. Otherwise, have fun discovering just how white you are! (and, if you're not white, it will give you so many reasons to make fun of white people....)

(I am #'s 1, 5, 7, 8, 9, 12, 15, 18, 19, 24, 25, 29, 33, 35, 37, 39, 48, 49, 50, 57, 62, 64, 75, 82, 83, 94, 96, 97, 99, 100, 103)

3) GoodReads.com

I love to read and I love to find out what other people are reading and whether they like it or not. I have a book list that I carry wherever I go so that if I happen to stumble into a bookstore with extra cash on hand, I will know exactly what to look for (or, lately, if I stumble into the library since it's all free and stuff).

So it's been fun finding out what my friends have read and also finding that maybe I am not the only one that hated On The Road by Jack Kerouac. My "to read" list has grown by leaps and bounds since I signed up. I may have to start squeezing in a few more books between knitting projects....

So there you go....a little feel-good story.....a little sarcastic laughter....and a little reading pleasure. And all on a Monday!!

Can you even stand the cuteness?

Ok, here is my latest creation.....I am quite proud:

Meet Sidney Penguin!

It is well known that I am a huge hockey fan and my team is the Dallas Stars. However, in December of last year, I became fascinated by a young Pittsburgh Penguin named Sidney Crosby. I really had no intention of actually becoming a Penguins fan....it just happened. So now I am a dual team fan.....though the Stars will always be #1 in my heart! (it's just that they don't have a mascot....)

Anyhow, I have crocheted many animals.....monkeys, pigs, elephants, etc. But all have been from a pattern. This little guy is a conglomeration of MANY patterns, but I think it's ok to claim him as my own (the hockey stick? totally made up by your's truly!). The only thing I have left to do is go to Michael's and see if I can find some numbers to put on his back.

And, who knows, maybe I'll whip up some more teammates for him.....a little Evgeni Penguin. And a Marc-Andre Penguin. And a bigger penguin I'll call Georges LaPenguin!

It's gonna be a loooooooooooong summer.....

A penny saved

Ok, jumping on the bandwagon again with this post....but, hey, whatever....

The economy is freaking me out.

I am luckier than many. I live 7 miles from work. I drive a gas efficient Honda Accord. I only have to worry about me, myself and I when it comes to expenses (groceries, utilities, etc.). And I bought my house last year and went the FIXED rate route.

So far I haven't had to change much, like deciding what bills to pay and what bills to let go. I have not had to make life-altering sacrifices. But I am starting to worry that those things will come. I am trying to head them off by taking small steps now. I went to the grocery store the other day and only bought things I needed (no "oh! that sounds good!" purchases), I have also cut down on driving as much as possible....though I don't do much to begin with. I've already mentioned no vacation this year.

I wish I could take the bus to work. Actually, I COULD, but it would cost me a lot more money to do that than drive (our public transportation here is not exactly up to par). I've thought about a bike, but that presents it's own problems. Our streets are not really built for them and Nashville it very hilly.....I would be soaked to the bone by the time I got to the office. Not to mention, what do people do when it rains? (I know...."get wet"). Shoot, I even wish walking was an option. But, again, I bet there are areas without sidewalks and I only walk a little over 3 miles an hour when I'm pushing it.....

So, I guess I will just continue to tighten my belt as a precaution....I'm not ready to start selling off all my personal belongings just yet! I may find that more frugal living is the way to go anyway...

Summer has officially begun!

Why? Because it's hot? No.
Because school is out? No.
Because it's past Memorial Day weekend? No.

Give up?

It's because today is the first of the Dave Matthews Band 2008 Summer Tour!!!

Summer, for the most part, is not really my time of year. But a little DMB touring action makes it so much more bearable. Now, why would I be excited about a tour where the show I'm going to is not for another two months? Well, DMB does something many other touring acts do not.....they play a different setlist every night. Of course there are songs that get pretty heavy rotation (if they've released a new album and whatnot), but it's fun to watch the setlist and see what that night's audience is getting to hear.

And, let me tell you, this setlist thing is serious business. First of all, the roadies actually have a real time page where they update the list as.it.happens (which was brought about because so many fans wanted to see the list as.it.happens). Second, there is a game. Yes, a game. Fans have up until an hour before the show to enter what they think the setlist will be that night and are given points based on how close they get. They do this all summer. I have not crossed over to that level of crazy. Yet.

As stated above, the shows I'm going to aren't for another two months (56 days to be exact). My friends Sarah, Rachel and I will be driving 5 hours to just outside Indianapolis to see the boys at Deer Creek. I used to just go see them here. Until they closed our amphitheater (Music City, my ass). Deer Creek is reasonable driving distance, is a two-night stand and has a larger audience of hard core fans. We camp at the venue, so easy walking back and forth (no parking lot traffic jams!). Plus it's nice to chill on Saturday and get to know other freaks like us. Good times.

This year will be concerts #18 and #19 for me (been going since 2002). I keep track of the songs I get to hear which is always good conversation for those of us who have no life ("You got Seek Up? Man, I've been to 15 shows and never gotten it!" or "I've gotten Where Are You Going over 20 times....they could really use a year off from that one.....") I even have a spreadsheet. God, I am such a dork.

So in a few hours we, the crazy community of DMB faithful, will get our first taste of what the boys have in store for us this summer. (Dave, if you're listening, I would really love to hear Dreaming Tree. PLEASE!)

Vacation? Not so much.

So my friend Malinda and I were all geared up to take a fun European vacation this year. It's been almost two years since I went to London and I am itching to go back. We poured over travel guides and narrowed it down to Berlin, Prague or Krakow (we were set on Eastern Europe....what can I say?)

So I've been checking flights almost daily and playing around with all kinds of scenarios ("we could use frequent flyer miles to get to Paris and then buy a ticket to Prague"). It's been so fun! Ummmm....while it lasted....

News alert: Our economy sucks. Now I am doing ok so far. I drive a nice little Honda Accord that gets great gas mileage and I only have to drive 14 miles roundtrip to work. I only have to worry about me.....my groceries, my clothes, my lunches out. I'm tightening the belt just a little....but I haven't had to spend hours pouring over my bank account wondering how I'm going to pay my bills. Yet.

I do not think it is in my best interest to plan a big time vacation right now (it hurts me to write that!). I have some dental work I didn't expect that needs to be done. My high school reunion is in August and there are plane tickets, hotel rooms and rental cars to book. And I don't think there are too many people in this country that can brag that their jobs are completely safe from the chopping block. I keep waiting for my good friend, Charles Gibson, to tell me that things are slowly but surely starting to look up. But so far I am getting blah, blah, housing market, blah, blah, gas prices, blah, blah, unemployment......and ending with "and I hope you had a good day." Thanks, Charles!

So the vacation is on hold. If things start to turn around, perhaps we could at least do a weekend getaway somewhere here in the States. Maybe I'll meet my sugar daddy by October. It could happen!

Bittersweet

It was a great run. I honestly didn't expect them to go so far (most people didn't). We shook off Monkey #1 by making it past the first round (and beating the reigning Stanley Cup Champions). Then we moved on to end the hopes of expert favorites, San Jose. In both rounds we came out strong, sputtered, but pulled out all the stops in Game 6 (including a brutal 4OT win....I'm still recovering from that one!)

Then there was Detroit. It was tough from day one. But we came back after being down three games AND we won one IN Detroit....taking care of Monkey's #2 and #3 (winning in Detroit as a team and Turco having NEVER won ANY game at the Joe).

But we had to do what hasn't been done in 33 years.....come back from being 0-3 and winning four in a row. It was not meant to be.

I was at Game 6 at the AAC last night. The place was electric at the beginning of the game. Our mantra this year is "Believe" and you could tell the standing room only crowd did. That is by far the loudest I have heard us scream "Stars!" during the National Anthem! Unfortunately, the first Detroit goal signified the beginning of the end. I'm not sure where my Stars were those first two periods....it was not the way I wanted them to exit.

We did get a goal in the third and the crowd was rejuvenated from there on out (even though we needed 3 more just to tie). When the two-minute mark hit, we stood......we cheered......we swung our towels and (at least I) cried. We did that until the last player headed down the tunnel.

I am so proud of my team. I am sad that our season is over, but I am so thankful that I got to watch them play until mid-May! And the last time we lost to Detroit in the Western Conference Championships?? Well, we came back the next year and won the Cup! That was 10 years ago. I think we're due!

THANK YOU, STARS!!!!

The Mad Hatter

I cannot wear hats. Well, I can....but it's very hard for me to find a style and size that look good. I have an odd-shaped head. I'm not sure of the particulars, but getting hats to fit me front, back and sides is a challenge that I'm not sure is worth the frustration.

But that doesn't stop me from knitting them! (and they're not for me....such a bonus). I am on a crazy hat-knitting tear and am just churning them out. I love knitting hats for oh so many reasons:

1) they are fast (usually 3-4 hours). I have self-prescribed ADD. I am an instant gratification kinda gal.

2) they are easy. I cast on my circulars and just go. I love how I get a stockinette stitch by only knitting. I am not a huge fan of purling....it's too slow. See #1 above. I have done so many hats that I have many of my patterns memorized (a miracle since my memory sucks). If I finish one hat, I can easily get started on the next without having patterns or books on me.

3) they are portable. Because they are compact, I can throw a WIP in my purse and have it for long lines, heavy traffic, waiting rooms, etc. This helps immensely with my extreme lack of patience.....though sometimes I do get annoyed when things move quickly and I have to put my knitting down (I'm just never happy, am I?)

No, I am not driving! Good lord, I'm dangerous enough
at it as it is....

4) I can experiment. I love trying new patterns and seeing if they translate well to hats. Some, like the basketweave below, I think look really good. Others, like a dropstitch hat I tried, are horrid (but, because it only took about 2 hours, I didn't feel bad having to frog it in the end).

I would wear this if I could wear hats!

I have been using Caron's Simply Soft recently because it's affordable, comes in every color known to man and is...well....soft! I usually get a little over 3 hats out of a skein....so it comes to about $1 a hat. You can't beat the price! And my "clients" need their hats as soft as possible....so it's a win-win. :)

Anyway, it keeps me busy through the "dry" hot weather months when you're not really thinking so much about sweaters and scarves. Though occasionally the hats take a back seat when yet another friend announces that a baby is on the way (I have stopped drinking the water....I think it might be contagious). But I will always come back to the hat. It is my friend and loves me just as I am. You can't ask for more than that!

HATS!!!

Decisions, decisions

*sigh*

My Stars.....my beloved Stars....only gave yet another half-hearted effort last night. We looked REALLY good in the first ten minutes. And we did score twice. But again I found myself screaming more than once....."How did that not go in!!!???" You know, guys, it's not very likely that the puck will go in the net when you shoot STRAIGHT at the goalie's belly. But, you know, I'm no expert.....

So, onto the decision. My parents have partial season tickets so, therefore, have tickets to all the playoff games. My dad asked over the weekend whether I wanted to come to Dallas for Game 4. Of course I said yes! Now....maybe not so much. I love my Stars. I've been with them since their first season. But do I really want to take a day and a half of work, fly to Dallas, and see them bow out of the playoffs? (I'm a realist....what can I say?). The only thing that actually makes me think I might go is we have three older players whose retirements may be around the corner (Zubov, Barnes and Modano). Barnes is out with an injury.....but what if this is the last game Zubov and/or Modano play? What if they retire after this is over? (note: I have not heard any rumors. This is simply based on age (all three will be 38 this year) and injuries (Barnes and Zubov are out a lot) ). I would never forgive myself if I had the chance to see Modano's last game and I didn't. I have already said that come hell or high water, I WILL be in the building when they retire his number. I am saving my money now.

What to do, what to do. Stupid Stars!!

The Cup is in sight......

I am cynical by nature (and perhaps by nurture as well). Which is why I am more nervous about the Stars tonight than I am excited. I did not think we would make it this far (and I wasn't alone!). We pretty much stunk up the place the last month of the season. But we pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps and are getting it done.....though I have had a few heart attacks along the way (lay off the 4 overtimes, guys!)

I don't pay much attention to stats. I'm not really reading what the "experts" say. I woefully don't know that much about Detroit. I am simply waiting for tonight's game to determine my attitude from here on out. If we win, or even if we come out playing with everything we've got and lose, I will be the first to say "we can do this!". If we come out like we've never seen ice before (and it's happened.....)....well.....then.....

Right now I will just be happy if we play well. Winning or losing doesn't much matter. I do think we will probably take this to 6 or 7 games (I do NOT think Detroit will sweep). I just hope that if this is the last dance for us that I can at least say "We didn't leave a damn thing on the ice."

The puck drops in 3 hours......God help my poor heart!

Work In Progress

When I was a kid, a popular t-shirt slogan was "Be patient. God isn't finished with me yet." I don't think I could get by with wearing one at my age. Too bad.

I have come to realize that I have a lot of issues. Yes, I know.....everyone has issues. Well, I am evaluating and, hopefully, working on mine. The list goes on for miles. Literally. So I won't post it here. But, for anyone who knows me.....I promise I've identified the many problems and the bugs are being worked out!

It ain't easy (no one ever said life was easy. That's too bad.). I am very often overwhelmed. What do I work on first? Will solving one problem make it easier to tackle the next? And what CAN'T be solved? I try not to think about that one. One thing I'm not doing is tracing back to past to find out WHY these are issues in the first place. I know sometimes knowing the source can be helpful.....but I really want to avoid the blame game. I mean, I'm 37 years old. If there was something I missed or wasn't taught in my childhood, it's time for me to get over it and deal with the here and now. Blaming parents, teachers, friends, bullies or even myself seems counter-productive at this point. Moving on......

So right now I'm tackling several things at once. And I have good days and bad days. But I also have people that I look up to and that are great role models and I keep plugging away trying to emulate them (nevermind that one of them is almost HALF my age.)

All I ask for is that people in my life be patient. I am not happy with the status quo and the annoying things I do will change.....even if it takes me 50 years to do it. I hope I take more steps forward than steps back (the backwards steps are inevitable, however). I am not proud of my past....I'm not proud of my present. I have nowhere to go but up....I hope.

I just keep listening to this:

How bad do you want it
How bad do you need it
Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming
With that one thing on your mind
How bad do you want it
How bad do you need it
Cause if you want it all
You've got to lay it all out on the line