Let The Tears Splash All Over You

Today is my last day at work. I've known this day was coming since the beginning of October. But that doesn't seem to be cushioning the blow.

I am an odd mix of emotions since I've been over this place for quite a while....I've wanted to leave for some time. But the circumstances are not exactly what I had in mind. I am very controlling when it comes to change....I get cranky when things happen that I did not make a pro/con list first! And no matter what, it is still hard to leave the people I have worked with for the past 6 years. And, to be quite honest, I am scared. This is the absolute worst time to be out of work. I survived the post-9/11 unemployment boom....but this is much much worse.

I hope my temp agencies can find me work. I hope I don't lose my house. I hope I don't get behind on bills or get turned over to collection agencies. I hope I can find a new job.

So today will be a rough day. I have already cried once (it's the hugs, people....they get me every time). Tonight my co-workers and I will be going out for dinner and drinks. Once that glass of wine hits, the floodgates will be opened with no ceasing!

Here's to surviving the storm and having my own success story to tell.....

My Grown-Up Christmas List

Hi Santa! I know you must be busy, what with all the Wii's you have to load up and such. But I was wondering if you could just take a moment to look over my list. I'm sure somewhere along the way I've done something worthy of at least a few of these things:

1) An extended winning streak for my Stars (and a Stanley Cup....for good measure....)

2) An extended winning streak for my Penguins (sorry, Pens, I have to show favoritism to my Stars. Can you wait until next year for the Cup? Thanks for understanding! Love you!)

3) To finally figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life career-wise. I have to think being an administrative assistant ain't it....

4) A successful first year for our new President. There is a lot riding on him and I can't imagine the pressure. I'm not expecting miracles....just a little light at the end of the tunnel

5) Another trip to Europe before I'm 40 (so, see? I'm giving you TWO Christmas's to make this happen....)

6) Good tickets to at least one of my three DMB shows this year

7) That my little Roaming Penguins continue to meet their real-life counterparts (and that maybe I'll get to meet the real-life counterparts myself ;) )

8) Snow for Nashville

9) Patience, compassion, humbleness, sincerity, genuineness, courage, focus, strong work ethic, maturity, selflessness, humility, ambition, social skills, discipline, an infectious smile, self esteem and strength. Oh, and this is all for me. Though if you have enough left over, I'm sure there are others that could use a little of this as well....

10) A Dave Matthews look-alike for my very own (and if he could play guitar like Dave....and write songs like Dave....and have a voice like Dave....that would be fabulous!)

11) A turnaround of the economy

12) An end to global warming....hybrids for everybody!

13) A bottomless gift card to iTunes

14) A little more love. A little less hate. And a lot more tolerance.

15) A lifetime supply of Reisling

16) A lifetime supply of Logan's Roadhouse rolls

17) An overactive metabolism

18) An attention span

19) Another wonderful, purr-filled year with Josey

20) World peace

Making a list and checking it twice

There are many things I enjoy about being single. For instance, I can sit on my couch in my underwear, watch a "Saved By The Bell" marathon and eat frosting from a can and no one is going to walk in and say "What are you wearing/watching/eating??" I can also let the housework go without offending anyone but myself. There are perks....I am comfortable enough with my singleton-ness to admit that.

But then there are times when having a member of the male persuasion might be just a tad nice. Like when I'm decorating for Christmas. I am not altogether fond of the decorating process. It is often frustrating and exhausting. I so enjoy the end result and then want to leave lights, trees, garland and wreaths up all year. But the "joy" of getting all that crap up leaves lots to be desired. I almost didn't decorate this year because my frustration level hit an all-time high two weekends ago. Let's just say there was blood and tears shed by the truckloads. Ho, ho, ho.

I did finally give in a little and put my tree up tonight. There are lights on it....but that's as far as I've gotten. I am going to allow myself to say "enough" when I feel I've hit my limit (not every surface of my entire house has to look like Christmas threw up on it). This may mean that stuff I would love to see doesn't get done (can we talk about my light obsession? cause I could seriously send my electric bill into five figures if I had the chance). It would just be nice if the entire burden wasn't all on me...share the love, so to speak!

Then there's that whole "sharing time with the one I love during the holidays" thing....but since I have accepted that my Mr. Right existing is less likely than St. Nick himself, we'll just skip that whole song and dance...