Birthdays: Love 'em? Hate 'em? First caller.....

Today is my birthday. I have a love/hate relationship with this day. Always have. Today I turn 38, which is not an age you want to announce to the world ("I know everyone's jealous cause I'm 38!") But, hey, at least it's not 40. I am dreading that one with every fiber of my being.

So my love relationship.....

Birthdays are your special day. I still turn over sometime after midnight and smile. I walk around all day thinking "you have to be nice to me....it's my birthday!" No matter how old I get and how much I hate seeing that number tick up one more year, I can't help feeling like a kid today.

Now for the hate part....

Obviously, I hate getting older. I am fortunate enough that I don't look my age. Thank god for good genes. But another year is just a reminder that I am nowhere near where I would like to be and am actually so far behind I may never catch up. Most people my age are much more mature and have accomplished loads more than I have. I still haven't figured out what I want to be yet!

Second? I am single. I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does. I mean, I know if I hear of a man or woman that's in their upper 30's that's never been married, I think "what's wrong with them?" (hypocritical much?) And, so, I wonder what's wrong with me. Now, for the record, it's not like I want to be married at all costs. My last boyfriend was all ready to marry me. But I knew he wasn't the one. But my doubts about there being a Mr. Right out there are growing by the year. I'm certainly not going to be settled down before 40. Bummer.

Eh....I could go on with the hate part (like my friends don't seem to make a big deal out of my birthday), but I'm going to go out and try to enjoy this day.

"Every day has it's way of being forgotten,
Mom, it's my birthday! Would you say..."