Work In Progress

When I was a kid, a popular t-shirt slogan was "Be patient. God isn't finished with me yet." I don't think I could get by with wearing one at my age. Too bad.

I have come to realize that I have a lot of issues. Yes, I know.....everyone has issues. Well, I am evaluating and, hopefully, working on mine. The list goes on for miles. Literally. So I won't post it here. But, for anyone who knows me.....I promise I've identified the many problems and the bugs are being worked out!

It ain't easy (no one ever said life was easy. That's too bad.). I am very often overwhelmed. What do I work on first? Will solving one problem make it easier to tackle the next? And what CAN'T be solved? I try not to think about that one. One thing I'm not doing is tracing back to past to find out WHY these are issues in the first place. I know sometimes knowing the source can be helpful.....but I really want to avoid the blame game. I mean, I'm 37 years old. If there was something I missed or wasn't taught in my childhood, it's time for me to get over it and deal with the here and now. Blaming parents, teachers, friends, bullies or even myself seems counter-productive at this point. Moving on......

So right now I'm tackling several things at once. And I have good days and bad days. But I also have people that I look up to and that are great role models and I keep plugging away trying to emulate them (nevermind that one of them is almost HALF my age.)

All I ask for is that people in my life be patient. I am not happy with the status quo and the annoying things I do will change.....even if it takes me 50 years to do it. I hope I take more steps forward than steps back (the backwards steps are inevitable, however). I am not proud of my past....I'm not proud of my present. I have nowhere to go but up....I hope.

I just keep listening to this:

How bad do you want it
How bad do you need it
Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming
With that one thing on your mind
How bad do you want it
How bad do you need it
Cause if you want it all
You've got to lay it all out on the line