Where Are You Going?

This post brought to you by wine....love it or leave it!

I cannot promise in any way, shape or form that this will make any sense. But so be it.

I'm not happy.

Specifically, I'm not happy with me.

I came to this conclusion about a week ago. I've had my share of ups and downs. Right now I'm in a down period. I hope it doesn't last long. But, more importantly, I hope that only good comes from it. Feeling better isn't nearly as important as learning, changing, and growing. (Oooooo....so deep!)

I won't go into all the ways I'm displeased with the person I am. It would take me forever anyway. I just know that things have to change. I am someone that I wouldn't particularly want to hang out with. Not good, eh? I have just been so negative recently.....it's been toxic. I've not really shared this yet, but I am a spiritual person. I talk to God on a pretty regular basis. Again, details aren't what I want to get into right now, but I'm trying to walk the walk, so to speak.

Anyhow, my biggest dream in life is to find the man of my dreams. Read that as you will, but being single is not a happy place for me. But I realized (for maybe the ten thousandth time) the other night that meeting Mr. Where-have-you-been-all-my-life right now might not be the best thing. What do they say? "You can't love another until you love yourself"? Ain't feeling the love right now! I want a man that "loves me just as I am".....but I don't love me just as I am, so I'm thinking the timing isn't right.

It's just so hard. Will I ever get to that perfect point? Will I ever feel like I could truly be happy with or without a man? Will I ever stop worrying about how the rest of the world views my singleton status? I seem to have a lot more questions than answers. How I wish I could turn to tarot card readers or horoscopes or something to tell me my future! Just a little glimpse.....please!!

But I keep on keepin' on. Tomorrow is another day and all that. The good Lord is probably wishing I'd lay off the wine for awhile (if only!) But for right now, I will snuggle under the covers and cuddle with my kitty. I mean, how could you not just love and chuckle at this face?