Don't mind that girl staring at you....she's practicing!

It's time.

I really try hard not to get wrapped up in the fact that I am 36 and single. Everything happens in it's own time, right? Not everyone is married by 25. There's nothing wrong with me. Blah. Blah. Blah.

But, to be quite honest, it bothers me. Like this past weekend when I'm visiting all my relatives in Kansas City. No one asks me about my love life.....but I wonder if they wonder. I am the only adult not in a relationship (not that the other adults necessarily have "healthy" relationships, you understand). I just want them to know that, yes, I am a heterosexual female that is quite capable of having a boyfriend...I just don't right now!

So, not being one to just sit around and wait for things to happen, I've decided I need to make more of an effort. Now, I've tried online dating sites and I've tried speed dating....both with minimal results. I still can't quite shake wanting it to happen "by chance". So here's the plan:

First, I need to just get out and do more. I have my knitting groups and other volunteer things, but, let's face it, I'm meeting a lot more women then men doing this! But, even when I'm knitting with the girls, I need to LOOK AROUND. A few months ago a fellow knitter met a guy during one of our meetings.....so it is possible. I've been meaning to go to the local Amnesty International meetings for awhile now. No more excuses. Must go.

The second thing closely follows the first. I need to pay more attention. I am terrified of making eye contact....am I staring? Was that look long enough? Too long? It's high time I started practicing. How many people have I missed meeting because I am too scared to look up?

And thirdly, I have to take risks. I am so guarded that I don't ever take a chance. What if they don't like me? What if they don't smile back? What if they think I'm weird? What if's be gone! I have to put myself out there. Set myself up for rejection. Stop taking the safe route. Safety is overrated! There will be people that don't like me, but I have to learn to deal with that. Hell, there are people that don't like me now, and probably because I am so meek and scared. I've always heard that once you get into your 30's, you start caring less about what other people think. Yeah....that can start happening anytime now!

So, there you have it. Obsession with self-analyzation? Check! Now I'm going to enjoy some alone time....because soon it will become a thing of the past....I hope.....