Don't Burn the Day Away

Let The Tears Splash All Over You

2008-12-19T10:10:00.002-06:00

Today is my last day at work. I've known this day was coming since the beginning of October. But that doesn't seem to be cushioning the blow.

I am an odd mix of emotions since I've been over this place for quite a while....I've wanted to leave for some time. But the circumstances are not exactly what I had in mind. I am very controlling when it comes to change....I get cranky when things happen that I did not make a pro/con list first! And no matter what, it is still hard to leave the people I have worked with for the past 6 years. And, to be quite honest, I am scared. This is the absolute worst time to be out of work. I survived the post-9/11 unemployment boom....but this is much much worse.

I hope my temp agencies can find me work. I hope I don't lose my house. I hope I don't get behind on bills or get turned over to collection agencies. I hope I can find a new job.

So today will be a rough day. I have already cried once (it's the hugs, people....they get me every time). Tonight my co-workers and I will be going out for dinner and drinks. Once that glass of wine hits, the floodgates will be opened with no ceasing!

Here's to surviving the storm and having my own success story to tell.....

My Grown-Up Christmas List

2008-12-17T08:13:00.002-06:00

Hi Santa! I know you must be busy, what with all the Wii's you have to load up and such. But I was wondering if you could just take a moment to look over my list. I'm sure somewhere along the way I've done something worthy of at least a few of these things:

1) An extended winning streak for my Stars (and a Stanley Cup....for good measure....)

2) An extended winning streak for my Penguins (sorry, Pens, I have to show favoritism to my Stars. Can you wait until next year for the Cup? Thanks for understanding! Love you!)

3) To finally figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life career-wise. I have to think being an administrative assistant ain't it....

4) A successful first year for our new President. There is a lot riding on him and I can't imagine the pressure. I'm not expecting miracles....just a little light at the end of the tunnel

5) Another trip to Europe before I'm 40 (so, see? I'm giving you TWO Christmas's to make this happen....)

6) Good tickets to at least one of my three DMB shows this year

7) That my little Roaming Penguins continue to meet their real-life counterparts (and that maybe I'll get to meet the real-life counterparts myself ;) )

8) Snow for Nashville

9) Patience, compassion, humbleness, sincerity, genuineness, courage, focus, strong work ethic, maturity, selflessness, humility, ambition, social skills, discipline, an infectious smile, self esteem and strength. Oh, and this is all for me. Though if you have enough left over, I'm sure there are others that could use a little of this as well....

10) A Dave Matthews look-alike for my very own (and if he could play guitar like Dave....and write songs like Dave....and have a voice like Dave....that would be fabulous!)

11) A turnaround of the economy

12) An end to global warming....hybrids for everybody!

13) A bottomless gift card to iTunes

14) A little more love. A little less hate. And a lot more tolerance.

15) A lifetime supply of Reisling

16) A lifetime supply of Logan's Roadhouse rolls

17) An overactive metabolism

18) An attention span

19) Another wonderful, purr-filled year with Josey

20) World peace

Making a list and checking it twice

2008-12-02T21:03:00.002-06:00

There are many things I enjoy about being single. For instance, I can sit on my couch in my underwear, watch a "Saved By The Bell" marathon and eat frosting from a can and no one is going to walk in and say "What are you wearing/watching/eating??" I can also let the housework go without offending anyone but myself. There are perks....I am comfortable enough with my singleton-ness to admit that.

But then there are times when having a member of the male persuasion might be just a tad nice. Like when I'm decorating for Christmas. I am not altogether fond of the decorating process. It is often frustrating and exhausting. I so enjoy the end result and then want to leave lights, trees, garland and wreaths up all year. But the "joy" of getting all that crap up leaves lots to be desired. I almost didn't decorate this year because my frustration level hit an all-time high two weekends ago. Let's just say there was blood and tears shed by the truckloads. Ho, ho, ho.

I did finally give in a little and put my tree up tonight. There are lights on it....but that's as far as I've gotten. I am going to allow myself to say "enough" when I feel I've hit my limit (not every surface of my entire house has to look like Christmas threw up on it). This may mean that stuff I would love to see doesn't get done (can we talk about my light obsession? cause I could seriously send my electric bill into five figures if I had the chance). It would just be nice if the entire burden wasn't all on me...share the love, so to speak!

Then there's that whole "sharing time with the one I love during the holidays" thing....but since I have accepted that my Mr. Right existing is less likely than St. Nick himself, we'll just skip that whole song and dance...

Well it's a pretty good day

2008-11-05T21:21:00.003-06:00

Days where just about everything goes right are rare, so I need to give yesterday it's props!

1) All Hail The Chief

When I saw Obama give the speech at the Democratic Convention in 2004, I thought "He should run for President. I would sooooo vote for him." Thanks for listening, Barack! I'm not going to go into a long-winded political speech, but, I think this is going to be a very good thing. It is change...and that's what you do when things are going terribly wrong. Do I expect things to be all rainbows and lollypops from now on? No. But I think things are going to happen. And I'm ready to be proud to be from the good ol' U.S. of A. again....

2) Working For A Living

Things at my Place of Employment have not been good for a long while. I haven't been happy anyway and found out a month ago that my job was being eliminated because of budget cuts. Last week I was offered another position at our agency.....a position I don't particularly want (for reasons that go on and on and on). But I am learning not to cut off my nose to spite my face as I get older and was seriously wrestling with whether to take it or not (there are a lot of little factors at play here). I thought I would have to make a decision rather quickly, but have learned that there are options, so I'm glad I have more time and that there are things that may change everything and make it better. Also, after about a week of not seeing any job postings I liked, I found two today. Sending out my resume always makes me feel like I'm trying. There may be hope.

3) Money (That's What I Want)

My parents got me a gift certificate to Amazon for my birthday so I could order an external CD burner. I ordered one at the end of September and learned a few weeks later that UPS showed they delivered it. I saw no evidence of said package. I wrote to the company I ordered it from and they simply wrote back and said "UPS showed it was delivered" I wrote to them and said "well, it ain't here" (you know....something like that) I didn't hear back. I wrote again and they said they'd check with UPS and get back to me. I didn't hear back. I went in to leave this company a negative review and saw someone else had left a comment that said Amazon's A-to-Z Guarantee got them their money back. I tried it. It worked!! Yay for the little guy!!

4) Roamin', Roamin', Roamin'

Things are going swimmingly with the Roaming Penguins! I really need to do a follow-up post with pictures and stories....people are so creative! But the best thing so far is a Yarn Penguin got to meet his Human Penguin! I sent a Marc Andre Penguin to Kaitlin and Nicole and they took him to see Marc Andre Fleury this weekend. I was beyond thrilled.....a real NHL superstar was holding this little thing I created.....just wow! And they explained the project to him, so it wasn't just "here, sign this stuffed animal" Our little roamers are making a big splash!

So, yeah, all the planets were aligned and karma smiled down on me. Doesn't happen very often, so I'll take it when I can get it!!

Lying on the roof...counting...the STARS that fill the sky...

2008-10-22T20:04:00.011-05:00

Well, this post is a tad overdue....sometimes real life just gets in the way....

So, I'm a huge Dallas Stars stalker....ummmm...I mean....fan. A few years ago, after the lockout, my sister and I went to a practice and got autographs after. That's one thing I love about my Stars....having that setup so that the fans can get face-to-face is the best idea ever. We got to meet everyone from the 2005 team except Zubov. It was a mostly positive experience with the exception of Mike Modano. I won't go into details, but I went away with a bad taste in my mouth from that meeting. Thankfully, Marty Turco made up for it and I got this lovely picture here:

Please don't ever let me cut my hair that short again...

Well, I found out about two years ago that the Stars stay at the Hilton across from the arena and they just walk back and forth for practice and the game! I decided that it is too sweet of an opportunity to miss getting to say hi when they are a mere two miles from my house, so I headed downtown on a Saturday to see what I could see and was rewarded handsomely for my stalkerish ways!

There were probably about 20 people there....most of them of the professional autograph seeker type. But the system worked pretty well....we all hung out at the top of the drive, lined up and let the players come to us. Now, I have met many, many celebrities. I have worked on music videos, worked for CMT, went to Fan Fair for a few years, etc., etc. My experience has in NO WAY made me any better about knowing what in the hell to say to them. So I keep my mouth shut. It's charming, I'm sure. I pretty much just said "thank you very much" to each of them and that's it. And, with a few exceptions, I'm really not that into autographs. I would much rather have a picture with a celebrity than their autograph. But I was there by myself with no "photographer" on hand, so I went the autograph route just to do something....

I'm pretty happy with how things went....I got to meet Turco and Morrow right off the bat (Brenden Morrow is taller than I thought he was!). A bunch of the new guys came up and, sadly, I didn't recognize most of them! But thankfully they all sign their names with their number....so I could figure it out later. My first BIG thrill was seeing Daryl "Razor" Reaugh. He is our color commentator. That's right....I was thrilled I got to meet one of our announcers! But if you've ever gotten to hear Ralph and Razor, you would know why. They are the best (and I am not at ALL biased). They are both sarcastic and knowledgable and Razor is constantly spouting off "Razorisms".....phrases or made up words that crack me up. I write them all down. And I told him this (yeah, I'm fun at dinner parties). Anyway, he seemed pleasantly surprised that I even knew who he was (read above: professional autograph hounds). I was so beyond thrilled that I called my mom right after. Because I knew she'd understand.

Mar-ty! Mar-ty! Mar-ty!

Yes, Brenden Morrow is on the phone....he didn't miss a beat in his conversation though...

The infamous Razor (I think these people were only getting his autograph after seeing me do it. I'm pretty sure they didn't know who he was...)

The second big thrill came when Mike Modano came out. I was a tad apprehensive, but he has now redeemed himself in my eyes (and even moreso later!). I had him sign the puck I bought commemorating his 503rd goal....which made him the American-born scoring leader AND was scored IN Nashville at a game I attended.

As the players came out of practice, I did catch a few more (though Steve Ott snapped at one of the "professionals" and I didn't approach him after that). When Modano came out, I was determined to get a picture with him. I finally turned to the guy next to me and asked him if he would oblige (the reason this was so hard was because everyone had their own agenda and moved from player to player....I may have caused this guy to miss someone while he was helping me). Anyway, I finally got my picture with Mike Modano...so now I can die somewhat happy!

I don't know....can you tell I'm stoked? I think I hid my excitement pretty well, right?

I stuck around and got to meet Ralph (our play-by-play guy)....he walked through a group of people that hardly noticed him and when he got near me, I said "Ralph?" and he looked shocked and asked, "are you from Dallas?" I proudly told him I was and congratulated him on the new contract he and Razor had just signed to stay until 2012 (I think). He was impressed I knew that (thanks for the info, Mom!). I was also the only one that recognized Coach Tippett (c'mon! I know what most of the NHL coaches look like! Wake up, people!)

So, all-in-all, it was a pretty successful day. The Stars will be back in town in December and I'm going to drag my friend Nancy down there to be my photographer. All I want is pictures. And maybe by then I will have memorized more faces (thank you, Center Ice!). Someone better warn the Stars that I'm coming.....

It's Out of My Hands for now....

2008-09-18T13:16:00.003-05:00

Ok, I was writing (very slowly) a post about my love for fall and all that....but it's gonna take a slight back seat to other things....

So, things here at my Place of Employment are not good. I have not been happy for awhile. Basically, I'm bored. I have used this boredom to my advantage because I am buried in penguin orders and can actually get some of them done during the day (my employers know I am bored...and they know I do this....and they are all like "more power to you" because they're bored too). And I have embraced the fact that I am not defined by my "day job" and more by what I do with my free time. But change is a-comin'....

We just found out that our budget is being cut IN HALF. Things are rough all over, folks, and heads are going to roll. We just don't know which heads. I'm not sure where I fall in the pecking order around here so I don't know how much danger I am in. But I think taking measures is a pretty safe bet. I've been looking for a way out....but it's always nicer to do it on YOUR time rather than someone else's. We've been told nothing will happen until January 1st (but when it comes to stuff like this, you hate to depend on trusting THAT statement). All the not-knowing is giving me quite the headache.

So I've started dusting off my resume and have realized that I don't know if any of the Resume Rules have changed. I guess I know what I'll be doing this weekend, huh? I just hate thinking that I am going to go to yet another "transitional job" once again (the job I work until I can figure out what I REALLY want to do). If I could make a living with my knitting and crocheting, I would do it in a heartbeat. But do you want to pay $40 for a little crocheted penguin? Yeah, probably not. So I'm stuck doing administrative work....not something I particularly love, but it's where my skills have fallen. I can tell you that being proficient in Microsoft Word does NOT get me out of bed excited in the morning! But in the economy we've got going right now, I'm really not going to be very picky. If you've got a job opening, I'll take it!

I'm hoping I feel more like posting about and celebrating fall soon. I think I'll feel better once my resume is ready to go and I can start sending it off (I always feel better when I'm *doing something* about my situation). I'm also going to be spending some time talking with the Big Guy upstairs....I'm working hard on that whole trusting/faith/listening/giving it up/not worrying thing. So far I'm failing miserably, but tomorrow's another day, right? I hear He's got oodles of patience...which I test on a pretty regular basis! Such a joy I am!

Here I Go Again

2008-09-03T10:21:00.004-05:00

This past weekend I attended my 20-year high school reunion. I know what you're thinking.... "Stephanie, there is NO WAY you are old enough to have graduated 20 years ago!" Yeah...I know....I graduated when I was 10....

Anyway, I did not attend my 10-year because, well, I didn't really feel like being sized up at the time. That is what your 10-year is for. What big time job do you have, what elite university did you graduate from, what impossibly good looking person did you con into marrying you. You know. But your 20-year is different. Hopefully by now we are mostly past all the petty stuff. Or at least we are individually past the point where we care.

I was not a member of the popular crowd. I'm good with that. I was actually very lucky because, while I was not high on the social ladder, they didn't much care about me or pay any attention to what I was doing. I was not picked on or anything....which is surprising considering that my non-conformist roots were very deeply planted by that time. They knew who I was because, in our community, we all pretty much grew up together. Girl Scouts, softball, dance lessons, and parents in Jaycees intertwined our lives whether we liked it or not. They know my name, but probably cannot recall what activities I was in or what music and stuff I was into. Lest you feel bad for me....they also have NO embarrassing stories to tell. See? It all comes out in the wash.

So I was excited for this reunion. One of my classmates started a Yahoo! group for our class about a year and a half ago just so we could be located and fill each other in on what we were up to. I was a little nervous even posted in the group because I was not sure if the social lines would still exist or to what degree. I think they are still there for some people and to varying degrees, but I felt pretty much accepted from the get go (and, you know, I am part of the aforementioned "past the point where I care" group).

Seeing my former classmates was surreal over and over again. I really have not seen any of these people for 20 years, so I had the shock of some of them not changing one tiny bit and others changing so much I didn't recognize them! We have really aged well, I must say. I had absolutely no idea what to expect....I really don't know how much I have changed, but I have been told that I look young for my age. Well, most of my classmates look young too! (dang...thought maybe I cornered the market on that....). And then there was the whole picnic thing and seeing them with their kids. Little mini-me's! Because I have no concept of what it must be like to be a wife and mother, hearing these miniature versions of my classmates say "mom" or "dad" to them was just WEIRD! And two of my classmates are grandparents. I won't EVEN go into that....

But I must say, as much as I hated high school and the social network that existed, I am really glad I went back for this reunion. People did grow up. Popular and unpopular people mingled. I was actually able to talk to guys I had crushes on (that, of course, went unrequited). I just wish I could go back and tell 15-year-old me that "Yes, your mother is right. Twenty years from now, it really WON'T matter." But 15-year-old me would roll her eyes at 38-year-old me as well....

(P.S. the blog title? Our class song. By Whitesnake. I wish I were kidding....)

There's bad times, but that's ok

2008-08-25T10:15:00.004-05:00

Whew. It's been a rough week. I had the occasional welling up of the eyes after getting the news of LeRoi's death on Wednesday. But it all hit full on after I downloaded the band's show from Tuesday night. They opened with Bartender ("if I go, before I'm old, dear brother of mine, please don't forget me, if I go") and then Dave made the announcement to the crowd. It was heartwrenching. I could hear his voice was different and that pain opened the floodgates. They played all of Roi's favorites and the drive and passion was very apparent. I understand that Carter was crying during Proudest Monkey. Dave did more primal screaming than normal throughout. So Damn Lucky now has new meaning and Dave told the story of when he first saw LeRoi and he played the "most beautiful "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" I've ever heard". And then there was Two Step....Carter probably broke cymbals right and left on that one. It was incredible.

I'm not sure what the future of the band will be, but I hope they continue on. I would think Roi would want them to. We will see though. They are continuing with the tour....only about two weeks left and then I'm sure we won't hear anything for months. Whatever decision they make, I will accept it. It won't be an easy one and they have to do what's best for them. I could see them no longer doing studio albums and just touring....which would be fine by me seeing as I don't listen to the studio stuff long after they release it anyway! Their live stuff is where it's at and if they just keep putting out Live Trax, that would satisfy the majority of their fan base.

Ugh. It just SUCKS! I love this band so much....they are more than just a group of guys that plays music. All five of them are so immensely talented and they all play such a huge part in each song. And their music has been the soundtrack of my life for so many years. One of them being gone leaves a huge and unfillable hole. No more soulful solos, no more "If I Only Had A Brain" pennywhistle at the end of Bartender, no more dark shades, no more "our good friend, LeRoi Moore on the saxophone", and no more tremendous presence stage left.

We will all miss you, LeRoi. Thank you for sharing your talent with us and we will see you soon "over the rainbow"...

Life is short but sweet for certain

2008-08-20T07:59:00.004-05:00

I just found out a moment ago that LeRoi Moore, saxophonist for my beloved Dave Matthews Band, has died. (article here)

I can't put in words my sadness. I know I always refer to the band as "Dave" but there were five members and each of them were just as important and talented as the next. I loved them as a whole.

I just can't believe this.

God bless you, LeRoi. The band and your fans will miss you dearly.

September 7, 1961 - August 19, 2008

What you've become is what you are

2008-08-16T09:51:00.005-05:00

I have always been in awe of people that have exceptional talent, drive and determination. People who focus on a goal and give their heart and soul to it. And most of these people start the journey before they are old enough to enter kindergarten! I'm pretty sure my goals at the tender age of four included getting mom to take me to the park so I could see how high I could swing.

So I wonder.....do these young prodigies ever whine that they don't want to practice? Do they want to give up and do something else? I'm sure there are those whose parents are a driving force....not letting them give up or quit. But I believe many of them just have it in themselves to plow ahead. Every time the Olympics roll around, you hear all about the hours these young athletes put in. The stuff they have missed and how they don't really get to be "regular" kids. This is totally a foreign concept to me as I was always a big whiner and hated practicing....I just wanted to be good without putting the work in!

So I've spent a lot of time envying these folks (and not just athletes.....but anyone that has known early on where they were going in life). Why couldn't I be that way? Why am I still trying to figure it out at age 38? But then in dawned on me (hit me over the head like a lead brick)....these go-getters could actually envy me too. They figured out at the age of three that they wanted to be a major league baseball player. So they practiced and played baseball almost constantly. Eat, drink, sleep baseball. They achieve their dreams and couldn't be happier about it. But do they ever, just once, think "I spent my whole childhood on baseball. I wonder what it would have been like to take piano lessons? Or to try my hand at writing stories?" (this is not to say that if you are exceptionally good at something you don't have ANY other talents or do anything else, you understand).

I don't know if I have one true talent. I don't believe I was wired to follow a set dream from childhood to adulthood. My what-I-want-to-be has changed more times than I can count. But I don't tend to have the attention span to go all out. But maybe that's not a bad thing. In my life I've been a dancer, a softball player, a singer, a writer, a swimmer, a skier, a drummer, a knitter/crocheter, a photographer, a gymnast, a psychologist, a cross-stitcher, a guitarist, a scuba diver, a signer, a travel agent, a teacher and a decorator (to name a few!). Did I ever get paid to do any of these things? Nope. Never did any of them professionally. But they are things I have had a passion for at one time or another. Things I threw myself into and loved at the time. I have had VARIETY through my life.....and I guess that's what works for me. Perhaps I was never meant to do one thing. Pursue one dream. Maybe I was just meant to try it all. Be kinda good at many things instead of really good at one or two things.

Which brings me to my next point. I have become increasing annoyed with the question, "So? What do you do?" Obviously, the person wants to know what my job is. But for me, my "job" could not reflect who I am any less. First of all, I have to tell people that basically I do computer stuff. Ok, right off the bat, they are thinking "computer geek" and that I'm a techie. Ummmm. No. Actually, I know almost nothing about hardware. And I really don't care to. I know a lot more about software. I know my way around Word, Excel, Powerpoint, etc. pretty well (and if I don't know how to do something, I know where to find out how). I kinda fell into this work and over the years have just continued to learn a little more. But when people ask what I "do", I would much rather answer with what I do when I'm NOT at work. Because that is who I really am. I want to tell people that I'm an artist (right now with sticks and string), that I'm a traveler, that I "work" for non-profits like Gilda's Club and Make-A-Wish, that I am a musician if only just in my soul, that I strive for justice and to make things right and easier for others, that I'm a therapist, that I'm a cheerleader, supporter and defender for the musicians, sports teams, and causes that I love, I'm a tree-hugger, a pacifist, a non-conformist and a hippie.

And if I could make a living doing all those things, I would!! But I could never even pick just one and make it a career. So I will keep doing what I'm doing during the day to keep a roof over my head and food in my mouth. And I will just have to accept that the multitude of things I listed is what I'm going to "be" when I grow up.

Cause the non-conformist in me says "who decided our career was what we are to begin with!"

Fly! Be Free!!

2008-08-11T13:23:00.003-05:00

Well, my little flightless water fowl have officially entered the merchandising world! You can see all the deets on The Sidney Crosby Show

I was scared to death when Jodie posted what I wrote. I really had no idea if anyone would want one or if 200 people would e-mail me in the first 30 seconds. But the response has been perfect! The post went up on Friday and as of a few minutes ago, I have 33 orders. I did most of the work on thirteen penguins before the post....all they needed was numbers and sticks (have to put them in the correct "wing"). Unfortunately, I didn't think that would take all that long. It did. I spent most of the weekend on it. Live and learn.

But today I have ten penguins in envelopes ready to go to the post office. And I must say, as I packed them up, I started to tear up a little. These little guys have been perched around my living room for a few weeks now. And just looking at all those faces made me feel like I was sending my children into the world!

I hope they all enjoy their new homes in Austin, Omaha, Norman, Ontario, Pittsburgh, Nova Scotia, Gibsonia, North Tonawanda, Chicago, and Clifton! Soon they will have teammates flying off to other exotic destinations. They just better call or write once in awhile...don't forget where you came from, boys!

The boys get in one more game before they head to their new homes
(notice Mario....always looking on :) )

Me and my "babies"
Fly! Be free!!

Birthdays: Love 'em? Hate 'em? First caller.....

2008-08-05T07:58:00.002-05:00

Today is my birthday. I have a love/hate relationship with this day. Always have. Today I turn 38, which is not an age you want to announce to the world ("I know everyone's jealous cause I'm 38!") But, hey, at least it's not 40. I am dreading that one with every fiber of my being.

So my love relationship.....

Birthdays are your special day. I still turn over sometime after midnight and smile. I walk around all day thinking "you have to be nice to me....it's my birthday!" No matter how old I get and how much I hate seeing that number tick up one more year, I can't help feeling like a kid today.

Now for the hate part....

Obviously, I hate getting older. I am fortunate enough that I don't look my age. Thank god for good genes. But another year is just a reminder that I am nowhere near where I would like to be and am actually so far behind I may never catch up. Most people my age are much more mature and have accomplished loads more than I have. I still haven't figured out what I want to be yet!

Second? I am single. I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does. I mean, I know if I hear of a man or woman that's in their upper 30's that's never been married, I think "what's wrong with them?" (hypocritical much?) And, so, I wonder what's wrong with me. Now, for the record, it's not like I want to be married at all costs. My last boyfriend was all ready to marry me. But I knew he wasn't the one. But my doubts about there being a Mr. Right out there are growing by the year. I'm certainly not going to be settled down before 40. Bummer.

Eh....I could go on with the hate part (like my friends don't seem to make a big deal out of my birthday), but I'm going to go out and try to enjoy this day.

"Every day has it's way of being forgotten,
Mom, it's my birthday! Would you say..."

See this crowd.....five billion proud...

2008-07-29T17:49:00.005-05:00

It's taken me a few days to get to this....my head is swimming with other things. Focusing is somewhat elusive at the moment!

I cannot say enough how much I love the Dave Matthews Band (otherwise known as "Dave"). And this weekend is one I start looking forward to the day after the second show!

This is the second year my sidekick, Sara, and I pointed the car due north and headed to lovely Indianapolis. Why do we go to Indy, you might ask? Well, Dave and the boys play only a few two-night stands every summer. They are almost always great sets and the crowds tend to be more on the die-hard side than the "going just to say you're going" group. I specifically picked Deer Creek not only because it's the closest of the two-nighters for us, but because you can camp AT the venue. No driving. No parking. Walk half a mile to and from. Priceless.

Last year we met a group of folks that do this every year and they invited us to camp with them this year (we are sooooo special). They arrived Thursday night and got us a good, off-the-beaten-path site. We got there around 2:00 on Friday (ok, we got a tad lost after we got off the highway.....the jury is still out on who's fault THAT was). We got the tent set up and then joined the group for a little eating, drinking and being merry. These guys are very chill....we're all "older" (meaning we are not members of the high school/college set). We all just sit around the campfire and relax....there is no drunken, obnoxious, loud, passing out partying. Just my speed!

Night 1 was, in a word, amazing. This was show #18 for me....I am no longer a neophyte and I know what I like and don't like. I will say this to get it out of the way....the encore left me a little tepid. But the main set got better and better as time went on. Just when I thought they were done with the "biggies" (Two Step, Proudest Monkey, Dancing Nancies), they'd break into another one. I got to hear Dreaming Tree for the first time. God, I love that song! By the time they got to the jam in #41, I was near tears. Seriously. It was THAT good! Normally, for a two-nighter, you expect Night 2 to be the better of the two. I was having a hard time believing they could beat this show. It could honestly be the best one I've seen yet.

Saturday was another day of chilling, drinking, and relaxing. We walked over to Hippieville (a line of booths selling jewelry, crystals, clothes, food, and....ummmmm....pretty glass pipes you can display on your mantle (*ahem*). I took a shower which did a lot of good for, I'd say, 2 1/2 minutes. But, man, did that ice cold water feel good! I was anxious for the show but also aware that that was it for another year....always a little sad :(

Sara and I are ready for Night 2!

Night 2 did not disappoint. I am usually not a fan of opening a show with a slower song.....but hearing the first notes of Seek Up set the tone for a great set! Granny and Grey Street back-to-back are two songs I can never hear enough of. And Crush was above and beyond the best I've ever heard. They ended the night with Sly and the Family Stone's Thank You. They let the crowd sing....Dave danced like a crazy man...it was the perfect way to end the night!

But all good things must come to an end. We rolled out of bed at 9:00 the next morning and started packing up. I hated for the weekend to end, but must say I was looking forward to a real bed and a very long shower. As is tradition, we started making notes for next year! (must bring this, don't need to bother with that). Now that I'm back in the real world, I have downloaded both shows and have listened to them ad nauseum. This is another thing I love about this band....they allow tapers at the shows and you can download them for free. Thanks Dave!!

Oh, and in case the Penguin faithful are tuning in.....Sidney Penguin had a great time, despite the fact that penguins generally are not very fond of the heat.....

Sidney P. catches a few Zzzzz's before the show...

Penguins, Dave and a nostalgia update!

2008-07-22T12:50:00.002-05:00

How's that for variety!

So, my picture of Sidney Penguin around Nashville created an interest in my little guy. I am now knee deep in penguin parts! (ok, that sounds gross....no penguins were harmed!). I will be selling them fairly soon through The Sidney Crosby Show. Half of the proceeds will go to the Mario Lemieux Foundation....cause I like my yarn art to serve the greater good.

Anyway, I am trying to get ahead of the game by creating a bunch of penguins before offering them up to fly off to other parts of the world. I started by making 20 sets of all the "parts" (beaks, eyes, wings, sticks, etc.). Now I am crocheting up the heads and bodies (all one piece). Yesterday I worked on three special penguins that are part of something Jodie is setting up. My biggest sticking (ha!) point is the numbers. I am putting numbers on their backs and on one wing. This is turning out to be a little more difficult than I thought. I just can't get them to look right. I may end up sucking it up and buying the numbers at Hobby Lobby or JoAnn's (this will cut into my already meager profits.....but I want them to look good!).

And all these penguin odds and ends will be accompanying me to Indiana this weekend!

DAVE!!!!!!!!!

Sara and I will be heading due north to Indianapolis to spend two wonderful nights with my friends, the Dave Matthews Band (I do wish they really were my friends....so far it's all one sided though...). We did this last year for the first time since Nashville closed it's outdoor amphitheater, Starwood. Music City, huh? Whatever. I am hoping for decent weather since I don't do heat very well. Last year we really lucked out....it was actually cold at night! I doubt we get that two years in a row, but anything under 90 degrees will be a welcome relief.

So what are my hopes, dreams and aspirations for this year's tour? Well, for one thing, Butch Taylor, long time piano player (but not actual member) for the band has left. I'm indifferent about his leaving. He was good, but piano solos aren't really my thing. Joining Dave and Co. this summer is Mr. Tim Reynolds (who tours with Dave himself when he does the solo thing). Timmy is insanely talented and a true fan favorite. I am looking forward to hearing him with the full band.

Another very unexpected change is the absence of Leroi Moore (saxophone) due to an ATV accident a few weeks ago. He's been in and out of the hospital due to his injuries. Get well soon, Leroi! Taking his place is Jeff Coffin of Bela Fleck and the Flecktones. Another fan fave (and an alum of my beloved University of North Texas!). I hear he's tearing things up!

I've been watching the setlists and, as usual, there are some interesting things happening there. Covers of "Money" by Pink Floyd, "Thank You" by Sly and the Family Stone, and "Melissa" by the Allman Brothers have all made appearances. "Corn Bread" and "Eh Hee" are back from last year (love both of these!). And "The Dreaming Tree" has been played one night of each of the two-night sets. I have never gotten this song and it is a personal favorite. My ultimate would be "I'll Back You Up". I could then die happy.

And last, but not least, a review of my Trip Down Memory Lane!

Ok, Season Three of the Muppet Show is definitely better than Season One. Miss Piggy and Janice's voices are normal. Pigs in Space is in the lineup. There's a lot more Dr. Bunson and Beaker. And, all around, more laugh out loud moments. However, it's still not exactly what I was hoping for. I don't know, maybe all of it is a whole lot more entertaining to an 8-year-old (though that's when my maturity stopped, so I don't know what the problem is). I'm just not having as many "oh my god! I remember this!" moments as I thought. I will more than likely get the second and third disks though. And I am looking forward to them releasing the remaining seasons (I believe there were six). But next up? Rocky and Bullwinkle.....

It's time to play the music, It's time to light the lights

2008-07-18T15:15:00.002-05:00

Next weekend is going to be a crazy busy weekend away as I go to see the Dave Matthews Band up in Indiana (can.not.wait!). So I'm going to try to chill this weekend and enjoy a little downtime. And that will include....

The Muppet Show!!

I got the first disk of season three from Netflix yesterday. I am excited. I am also hoping to not be disappointed. See, I got the season one set a few years back and, while it's good, it's not the Muppet Show I remember. Miss Piggy and Janice's voices are not the same. There is very little Swedish Chef and Sam the Eagle. No Pigs In Space or Bunson and Beeker. And besides a laugh out loud moment or two, it wasn't really all that funny.

That's why I skipped to season three. I want to see the show I remember as a kid. My sister and I would sit on the floor in front of the tv every Saturday night at 6:30. Mom would make homemade pizza and we would lay down newspapers so pizza sauce would not make it onto the carpeting. Oh and the giggling. You know when you're at that age where EVERYTHING is funny? The Muppets came during that age. One skit I remember making us laugh until our sides hurt involved the song The Witch Doctor. The character playing the song had a xylephone make of little fuzzy balls that would yell out has he bopped them on the head ("Ooo!" "Eee!" "Ooo!" "Ah, Ah!") Something about those fuzz balls struck the funny bone. I hope I find it and it makes me laugh just as hard as when I was eight.

I relish being a child of the 70's....being a part of the first Seseme Street generation (the first season was the year before I was born), watching Romper Room, Bozo the Clown (we lived in Chicago where the original Bozo was taped), Zoom, Electric Company, Mr. Rogers, Land of the Lost, all the Sid and Marty Croft stuff (H.R. Pufnstuf anyone?) then later moving on to Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, Three's Company (all on Tuesday night), Mork and Mindy,
and even watching M*A*S*H* at my grandparents house. Life was good.

So I'm ready for some nostalgia. Some laughs. Some Animal chasing a female guest star yelling "Wo-Man! Wo-Man!"

Bork! Bork! Bork!

The adventures of Sidney Penguin

2008-07-14T11:09:00.006-05:00

My love for the Dallas Stars dates back to very early 1994. They are my team forever and ever, amen. However.....I have adopted another hockey team in recent months (shock! awe!). The Pittsburgh Penguins showed up on my radar in December. Actually, Sidney Crosby showed up....the rest of the team followed.

My love for Sidney Crosby knows no bounds (well, ok, maybe a few bounds....but not many). One day when I have hours upon hours on end to blabber away about him, I certainly will. But today I'm going to skip ahead to the matter at hand....the adventures of my little Sidney Penguin!

I am a faithful reader of The Sidney Crosby Show, which is run by the amazing Jodie (seriously, her recaps of games are amazing....she sees so much and doesn't even have the magic of Tivo to rewind!). During the summer slow time, she asked each of us to send in a picture of us with our Pens stuff and wanted us to represent all the places in the world we are located. I have no Pens stuff yet. But I have Sidney Penguin. So Sidney went on a Nashville adventure:

(you'll have to click this one to read the caption)

And here is the final, photoshopped product I sent to The Show:

(again, click to see the enlarged version)

This project was so fun to put together! There were difficulties, however.....I had a hard time finding a good spot to get Sidney next to the Batman building. And I didn't want people to see what I was doing ("who's the crazy lady holding up a stuffed penguin and taking pictures??"). I actually had a million ideas of other places to get pictures, but I felt Jodie would kill me if I sent an entire photo album to her! Soooooooo.....

I think I will continue Sidney's adventures here on my own blog! Who knows where Sidney will end up....you'll just have to stay tuned to find out :)

Another installment of My Favorite Things

2008-06-16T15:08:00.002-05:00

And now you have that song in your head, don't you?? Sorry! Ok, onward and upward....

1) I saw the story of James O'Neal on the CNN website one day last month and it just reached out and grabbed me. James was born with Neurofibromatosis. As a child he had surgery pretty much every year to keep up with the growths on his face. His dad would take the family on a summer vacation after his surgeries so he could recover and have fun. When he turned 18 he didn't have any more insurance to cover more surgeries. The tumors have stopped growing now and he would love to have the last procedures done.

After the story ran, things went nuts in the donation department! As of this writing, I believe they have raised $100,000 for James' surgery! People can be so awesome. I sent in a little moola and have been keeping up with the story on a blog started by some friends/customer's of James. Also, his local tv station, KOMO, has done really well doing follow-up stories.

Even if you can't give, I recommend you stay tuned to this story. James has an awesome attitude considering his circumstances and I can't wait to read more about his upcoming surgery. Go James, go!!

2) On a completely different subject.....one of my friends sent me this link and it has provided many laughs and agreeing head bobs.

Stuff White People Like

First, you must know it is all highly sarcastic. If you are easily offended (#101 on the list, by the way), you might want to skip it. Otherwise, have fun discovering just how white you are! (and, if you're not white, it will give you so many reasons to make fun of white people....)

(I am #'s 1, 5, 7, 8, 9, 12, 15, 18, 19, 24, 25, 29, 33, 35, 37, 39, 48, 49, 50, 57, 62, 64, 75, 82, 83, 94, 96, 97, 99, 100, 103)

3) GoodReads.com

I love to read and I love to find out what other people are reading and whether they like it or not. I have a book list that I carry wherever I go so that if I happen to stumble into a bookstore with extra cash on hand, I will know exactly what to look for (or, lately, if I stumble into the library since it's all free and stuff).

So it's been fun finding out what my friends have read and also finding that maybe I am not the only one that hated On The Road by Jack Kerouac. My "to read" list has grown by leaps and bounds since I signed up. I may have to start squeezing in a few more books between knitting projects....

So there you go....a little feel-good story.....a little sarcastic laughter....and a little reading pleasure. And all on a Monday!!

Can you even stand the cuteness?

2008-06-11T11:24:00.004-05:00

Ok, here is my latest creation.....I am quite proud:

Meet Sidney Penguin!

It is well known that I am a huge hockey fan and my team is the Dallas Stars. However, in December of last year, I became fascinated by a young Pittsburgh Penguin named Sidney Crosby. I really had no intention of actually becoming a Penguins fan....it just happened. So now I am a dual team fan.....though the Stars will always be #1 in my heart! (it's just that they don't have a mascot....)

Anyhow, I have crocheted many animals.....monkeys, pigs, elephants, etc. But all have been from a pattern. This little guy is a conglomeration of MANY patterns, but I think it's ok to claim him as my own (the hockey stick? totally made up by your's truly!). The only thing I have left to do is go to Michael's and see if I can find some numbers to put on his back.

And, who knows, maybe I'll whip up some more teammates for him.....a little Evgeni Penguin. And a Marc-Andre Penguin. And a bigger penguin I'll call Georges LaPenguin!

It's gonna be a loooooooooooong summer.....

A penny saved

2008-06-10T08:50:00.003-05:00

Ok, jumping on the bandwagon again with this post....but, hey, whatever....

The economy is freaking me out.

I am luckier than many. I live 7 miles from work. I drive a gas efficient Honda Accord. I only have to worry about me, myself and I when it comes to expenses (groceries, utilities, etc.). And I bought my house last year and went the FIXED rate route.

So far I haven't had to change much, like deciding what bills to pay and what bills to let go. I have not had to make life-altering sacrifices. But I am starting to worry that those things will come. I am trying to head them off by taking small steps now. I went to the grocery store the other day and only bought things I needed (no "oh! that sounds good!" purchases), I have also cut down on driving as much as possible....though I don't do much to begin with. I've already mentioned no vacation this year.

I wish I could take the bus to work. Actually, I COULD, but it would cost me a lot more money to do that than drive (our public transportation here is not exactly up to par). I've thought about a bike, but that presents it's own problems. Our streets are not really built for them and Nashville it very hilly.....I would be soaked to the bone by the time I got to the office. Not to mention, what do people do when it rains? (I know...."get wet"). Shoot, I even wish walking was an option. But, again, I bet there are areas without sidewalks and I only walk a little over 3 miles an hour when I'm pushing it.....

So, I guess I will just continue to tighten my belt as a precaution....I'm not ready to start selling off all my personal belongings just yet! I may find that more frugal living is the way to go anyway...

Summer has officially begun!

2008-05-30T17:29:00.003-05:00

Why? Because it's hot? No.
Because school is out? No.
Because it's past Memorial Day weekend? No.

Give up?

It's because today is the first of the Dave Matthews Band 2008 Summer Tour!!!

Summer, for the most part, is not really my time of year. But a little DMB touring action makes it so much more bearable. Now, why would I be excited about a tour where the show I'm going to is not for another two months? Well, DMB does something many other touring acts do not.....they play a different setlist every night. Of course there are songs that get pretty heavy rotation (if they've released a new album and whatnot), but it's fun to watch the setlist and see what that night's audience is getting to hear.

And, let me tell you, this setlist thing is serious business. First of all, the roadies actually have a real time page where they update the list as.it.happens (which was brought about because so many fans wanted to see the list as.it.happens). Second, there is a game. Yes, a game. Fans have up until an hour before the show to enter what they think the setlist will be that night and are given points based on how close they get. They do this all summer. I have not crossed over to that level of crazy. Yet.

As stated above, the shows I'm going to aren't for another two months (56 days to be exact). My friends Sarah, Rachel and I will be driving 5 hours to just outside Indianapolis to see the boys at Deer Creek. I used to just go see them here. Until they closed our amphitheater (Music City, my ass). Deer Creek is reasonable driving distance, is a two-night stand and has a larger audience of hard core fans. We camp at the venue, so easy walking back and forth (no parking lot traffic jams!). Plus it's nice to chill on Saturday and get to know other freaks like us. Good times.

This year will be concerts #18 and #19 for me (been going since 2002). I keep track of the songs I get to hear which is always good conversation for those of us who have no life ("You got Seek Up? Man, I've been to 15 shows and never gotten it!" or "I've gotten Where Are You Going over 20 times....they could really use a year off from that one.....") I even have a spreadsheet. God, I am such a dork.

So in a few hours we, the crazy community of DMB faithful, will get our first taste of what the boys have in store for us this summer. (Dave, if you're listening, I would really love to hear Dreaming Tree. PLEASE!)

Vacation? Not so much.

2008-05-27T14:54:00.003-05:00

So my friend Malinda and I were all geared up to take a fun European vacation this year. It's been almost two years since I went to London and I am itching to go back. We poured over travel guides and narrowed it down to Berlin, Prague or Krakow (we were set on Eastern Europe....what can I say?)

So I've been checking flights almost daily and playing around with all kinds of scenarios ("we could use frequent flyer miles to get to Paris and then buy a ticket to Prague"). It's been so fun! Ummmm....while it lasted....

News alert: Our economy sucks. Now I am doing ok so far. I drive a nice little Honda Accord that gets great gas mileage and I only have to drive 14 miles roundtrip to work. I only have to worry about me.....my groceries, my clothes, my lunches out. I'm tightening the belt just a little....but I haven't had to spend hours pouring over my bank account wondering how I'm going to pay my bills. Yet.

I do not think it is in my best interest to plan a big time vacation right now (it hurts me to write that!). I have some dental work I didn't expect that needs to be done. My high school reunion is in August and there are plane tickets, hotel rooms and rental cars to book. And I don't think there are too many people in this country that can brag that their jobs are completely safe from the chopping block. I keep waiting for my good friend, Charles Gibson, to tell me that things are slowly but surely starting to look up. But so far I am getting blah, blah, housing market, blah, blah, gas prices, blah, blah, unemployment......and ending with "and I hope you had a good day." Thanks, Charles!

So the vacation is on hold. If things start to turn around, perhaps we could at least do a weekend getaway somewhere here in the States. Maybe I'll meet my sugar daddy by October. It could happen!

Bittersweet

2008-05-20T17:27:00.005-05:00

It was a great run. I honestly didn't expect them to go so far (most people didn't). We shook off Monkey #1 by making it past the first round (and beating the reigning Stanley Cup Champions). Then we moved on to end the hopes of expert favorites, San Jose. In both rounds we came out strong, sputtered, but pulled out all the stops in Game 6 (including a brutal 4OT win....I'm still recovering from that one!)

Then there was Detroit. It was tough from day one. But we came back after being down three games AND we won one IN Detroit....taking care of Monkey's #2 and #3 (winning in Detroit as a team and Turco having NEVER won ANY game at the Joe).

But we had to do what hasn't been done in 33 years.....come back from being 0-3 and winning four in a row. It was not meant to be.

I was at Game 6 at the AAC last night. The place was electric at the beginning of the game. Our mantra this year is "Believe" and you could tell the standing room only crowd did. That is by far the loudest I have heard us scream "Stars!" during the National Anthem! Unfortunately, the first Detroit goal signified the beginning of the end. I'm not sure where my Stars were those first two periods....it was not the way I wanted them to exit.

We did get a goal in the third and the crowd was rejuvenated from there on out (even though we needed 3 more just to tie). When the two-minute mark hit, we stood......we cheered......we swung our towels and (at least I) cried. We did that until the last player headed down the tunnel.

I am so proud of my team. I am sad that our season is over, but I am so thankful that I got to watch them play until mid-May! And the last time we lost to Detroit in the Western Conference Championships?? Well, we came back the next year and won the Cup! That was 10 years ago. I think we're due!

THANK YOU, STARS!!!!

The Mad Hatter

2008-05-15T14:10:00.006-05:00

I cannot wear hats. Well, I can....but it's very hard for me to find a style and size that look good. I have an odd-shaped head. I'm not sure of the particulars, but getting hats to fit me front, back and sides is a challenge that I'm not sure is worth the frustration.

But that doesn't stop me from knitting them! (and they're not for me....such a bonus). I am on a crazy hat-knitting tear and am just churning them out. I love knitting hats for oh so many reasons:

1) they are fast (usually 3-4 hours). I have self-prescribed ADD. I am an instant gratification kinda gal.

2) they are easy. I cast on my circulars and just go. I love how I get a stockinette stitch by only knitting. I am not a huge fan of purling....it's too slow. See #1 above. I have done so many hats that I have many of my patterns memorized (a miracle since my memory sucks). If I finish one hat, I can easily get started on the next without having patterns or books on me.

3) they are portable. Because they are compact, I can throw a WIP in my purse and have it for long lines, heavy traffic, waiting rooms, etc. This helps immensely with my extreme lack of patience.....though sometimes I do get annoyed when things move quickly and I have to put my knitting down (I'm just never happy, am I?)

No, I am not driving! Good lord, I'm dangerous enough
at it as it is....

4) I can experiment. I love trying new patterns and seeing if they translate well to hats. Some, like the basketweave below, I think look really good. Others, like a dropstitch hat I tried, are horrid (but, because it only took about 2 hours, I didn't feel bad having to frog it in the end).

I would wear this if I could wear hats!

I have been using Caron's Simply Soft recently because it's affordable, comes in every color known to man and is...well....soft! I usually get a little over 3 hats out of a skein....so it comes to about $1 a hat. You can't beat the price! And my "clients" need their hats as soft as possible....so it's a win-win. :)

Anyway, it keeps me busy through the "dry" hot weather months when you're not really thinking so much about sweaters and scarves. Though occasionally the hats take a back seat when yet another friend announces that a baby is on the way (I have stopped drinking the water....I think it might be contagious). But I will always come back to the hat. It is my friend and loves me just as I am. You can't ask for more than that!

HATS!!!

Decisions, decisions

2008-05-13T08:58:00.002-05:00

*sigh*

My Stars.....my beloved Stars....only gave yet another half-hearted effort last night. We looked REALLY good in the first ten minutes. And we did score twice. But again I found myself screaming more than once....."How did that not go in!!!???" You know, guys, it's not very likely that the puck will go in the net when you shoot STRAIGHT at the goalie's belly. But, you know, I'm no expert.....

So, onto the decision. My parents have partial season tickets so, therefore, have tickets to all the playoff games. My dad asked over the weekend whether I wanted to come to Dallas for Game 4. Of course I said yes! Now....maybe not so much. I love my Stars. I've been with them since their first season. But do I really want to take a day and a half of work, fly to Dallas, and see them bow out of the playoffs? (I'm a realist....what can I say?). The only thing that actually makes me think I might go is we have three older players whose retirements may be around the corner (Zubov, Barnes and Modano). Barnes is out with an injury.....but what if this is the last game Zubov and/or Modano play? What if they retire after this is over? (note: I have not heard any rumors. This is simply based on age (all three will be 38 this year) and injuries (Barnes and Zubov are out a lot) ). I would never forgive myself if I had the chance to see Modano's last game and I didn't. I have already said that come hell or high water, I WILL be in the building when they retire his number. I am saving my money now.

What to do, what to do. Stupid Stars!!

The Cup is in sight......

2008-05-08T15:17:00.005-05:00

I am cynical by nature (and perhaps by nurture as well). Which is why I am more nervous about the Stars tonight than I am excited. I did not think we would make it this far (and I wasn't alone!). We pretty much stunk up the place the last month of the season. But we pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps and are getting it done.....though I have had a few heart attacks along the way (lay off the 4 overtimes, guys!)

I don't pay much attention to stats. I'm not really reading what the "experts" say. I woefully don't know that much about Detroit. I am simply waiting for tonight's game to determine my attitude from here on out. If we win, or even if we come out playing with everything we've got and lose, I will be the first to say "we can do this!". If we come out like we've never seen ice before (and it's happened.....)....well.....then.....

Right now I will just be happy if we play well. Winning or losing doesn't much matter. I do think we will probably take this to 6 or 7 games (I do NOT think Detroit will sweep). I just hope that if this is the last dance for us that I can at least say "We didn't leave a damn thing on the ice."

The puck drops in 3 hours......God help my poor heart!

Work In Progress

2008-03-27T19:53:00.002-05:00

When I was a kid, a popular t-shirt slogan was "Be patient. God isn't finished with me yet." I don't think I could get by with wearing one at my age. Too bad.

I have come to realize that I have a lot of issues. Yes, I know.....everyone has issues. Well, I am evaluating and, hopefully, working on mine. The list goes on for miles. Literally. So I won't post it here. But, for anyone who knows me.....I promise I've identified the many problems and the bugs are being worked out!

It ain't easy (no one ever said life was easy. That's too bad.). I am very often overwhelmed. What do I work on first? Will solving one problem make it easier to tackle the next? And what CAN'T be solved? I try not to think about that one. One thing I'm not doing is tracing back to past to find out WHY these are issues in the first place. I know sometimes knowing the source can be helpful.....but I really want to avoid the blame game. I mean, I'm 37 years old. If there was something I missed or wasn't taught in my childhood, it's time for me to get over it and deal with the here and now. Blaming parents, teachers, friends, bullies or even myself seems counter-productive at this point. Moving on......

So right now I'm tackling several things at once. And I have good days and bad days. But I also have people that I look up to and that are great role models and I keep plugging away trying to emulate them (nevermind that one of them is almost HALF my age.)

All I ask for is that people in my life be patient. I am not happy with the status quo and the annoying things I do will change.....even if it takes me 50 years to do it. I hope I take more steps forward than steps back (the backwards steps are inevitable, however). I am not proud of my past....I'm not proud of my present. I have nowhere to go but up....I hope.

I just keep listening to this:

How bad do you want it
How bad do you need it
Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming
With that one thing on your mind
How bad do you want it
How bad do you need it
Cause if you want it all
You've got to lay it all out on the line

The Wall, she has been hit

2007-12-13T14:02:00.001-06:00

I have hit the wall. It doesn't happen often. I sometimes can even fool myself into thinking the wall doesn't exist. I am here to tell you.....it does.

No! Not the "runner's" wall!

The Sugar Wall.

(which kind of makes me giggle because the Dave Matthews Band has a song called "Sugar Will" Not funny to anyone else but me? Alright....carry on....)

This time of year I am especially prone to hitting the Sugar Wall. There is this divine moment where my body and mind say....no.more.sugar. It's not a happy, giddy moment. It is more of a "one more sweet thing passes those lips, and a coma is in your not-so-distant future." The desire to eat something with an inkling of nutritional value is overwhelming. And that is a scary thing.

So, tonight I will be scourging my kitchen for something purely protein for dinner and swigging back a large bottle of water. Maybe I can get my blood sugar levels back to somewhere near normal. And then.....bring on the fudge!

Sentimental fool

2007-12-12T14:42:00.000-06:00

Sentimental doesn't EVEN begin to describe it. And this time of year is the worst (or the best, depending on how you look at it!) If it has anything to do with Christmas as a kid, then you better believe it is part of my season now.

Even though I am well on my way to the big 4-0, I still can't get enough of the Christmas specials of yore. I not only watch all of them, I have taped them and transferred them to DVD! Charlie Brown is my favorite. My sister and I had the record when we were little. The album cover actually had a book with all the lines in it incorporated into the design. Hence, I have the whole thing memorized and recite it ad nauseum when it's on (hey, it's just me. And the cat doesn't care). I also love Rudolph ("I want to be a dentist!"), Frosty ("(Santa) spoke fluent rabbit") and all of those claymation shows....even the really hokey ones, like Nestor the Long Eared Donkey.

My Christmas CD collection also reflects my childhood more often than not. I don't know of many people that own Andy Williams, Johnny Mathis and Barbra Streisand (yes, the JEWISH Barbra) holiday recordings. For the longest time, if I heard a "regular" Johnny Mathis song on the radio, it made me think of Christmas. Because that's all he does, right?? I have added some more modern favorites.....I have two Amy Grant cds and two Garth Brooks cds. But my favorites will still always be the oldies but goodies. And listening to them brings me to.....

Christmas cookies. We would always have the Christmas music playing full blast while cutting out the traditional cookies each year. The recipe is from my Great Grandma Barnett. It isn't specifically a Christmas recipe, but it's the only time we ever made them. My sister and I would cut out cookies with our metal cookie cutters and cover them with red and green sprinkles (which would promptly fall right off after baking). The kitchen was a mess of flour and a combination of too thin or too thick cookies. I think I'm the only one that keeps this tradition up. I even went to a flea market a few years ago and found some of the same cookie cutters. I paid far too much for them.....but they are priceless!

And I simply love to sit on the couch looking at my tree and try to recapture little snippets of memory of Christmas' past. Like the green and red foil-like wrapping paper my grandparents used, or the wooden decoupage ornaments my mom made, or loading up the car to drive to my aunt and uncle's for Christmas Eve, or the smell of the Xerox'd (?) sheets they handed us in music class for each year's Christmas pageant (you know the ones....typed up with that purple ink!), or the trip through the North Pole and all the animated characters on the way to see Santa (I don't know where we were living at the time.....but they did Santa at the mall up BIG)

I hope Christmas is always a fun trip down memory lane for me. I can always get my nostalgia fix for the entire year in one short month! Now, time to hunt down a Christmas cookie or two....

Age 2, Grandma and Grandpa's, 1972 (I wish you could see the revolving color disk pointed at the tree....classic!)

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things

2007-12-04T10:46:00.000-06:00

I love telling people about stuff I love in hopes that they will love it too! (Kind of a "Stephanie's Favorite Things" all year round). So to kick off the inaugural favorite things post, I give you:

Kiva.org

Seems appropriate since I learned about this organization on Oprah (I don't hardly ever watch Her Oprahness since I work when she's on....but I caught this one because my buddy, Bill Clinton, was on and I just heart Bill!)

Anyway, Kiva is this absolutely wonderful organization that allows anyone to loan money to businesses in developing countries. The people you are loaning to are business men and women who are trying to build themselves out of poverty and make their way in the world. You simply go to the site and pick out someone to loan money to. They have a featured business or you can search by where they live, or what type of business they have or how much they need or whatever. The businessperson's page will give you all the info on what they're doing (some are just starting.....others are looking to expand). And all of them have pictures.....so you can see the person you are helping!

But here's the best part......you loan a minimum of $25, which then gets added to what other lenders have given until the business has all it needs. But it's a LOAN! You get the money back! The length of the loans varies.....the man I loaned to has 15 months to pay the money back. And I've already got some back because he's made some payments already. Once the loan is fully paid (and my $25 has been paid in full), I can turn around and loan that money to someone else. So my measly $25 can be used again and again. I love it! I have many favorite charities that I try to give to every year and it's nice that one of them can use my recycled money.....or, if I find $25 burning a hole in my pocket, and I can do another loan while waiting for my first to be paid back.

So here is my loan recipient:

Dramé Mamadou is a dynamic 40 year old tradesman. He lives in Port-Bouët, a very populated suburb in the south of Abidjan District. Mamadou owns a well managed store and sells fresh milk, sweets, candies, juices, soaps, sugar, etc. Mamadou is married and has 4 children. He wants to expand his activities and diversify his product range by selling rice. He will use the loan to purchase goods in bulk from the largest wholesaler in order to get lower prices and improve his profit margin. He joined the AE&I Microcredit Program in 2005 when he heard about the organisation from one of his friends. Mamadou has performed very well since then and is honest and well organized.

Isn't he great?? I just want to fly over to the Ivory Coast and give him a big hug and shop in his store!

So please go out to Kiva.org and take a look around. This loan thing is fun AND addicting. You've been warned.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2007-11-27T12:30:00.000-06:00

....or so they say. I think the suicide help lines would beg to differ on this one....

I don't get too terribly stressed out during the holidays. There aren't endless parties to go to. I have no children to entertain. I have a small family and few friends to buy for. If I get Christmas cards out, great. If not, maybe you'll hear from me next year. I don't have to decide where to spend the holiday and no one in my family is arguing. All in all, this time of year is pretty easy for me!

I realize anything could happen in the next four weeks, but so far I haven't had my usual "I'm all alone in the world" pity party. I tend to get all smooshy about not having a guy to cuddle with in front of the tree and to please get me another glass of egg nog and, oh yeah, maybe another cookie while you're up? Yes, I do ask Santa each year for a boyfriend (to-become-husband). So far the Big Guy hasn't delivered, but maybe this year is my year. My Dave Matthews look-alike is out there somewhere! Where-oh-where are you, Twin Dave?? I have egg nog and cookies waiting!

The only stressor I have in my life right now is I'm having a group of girls come over on Saturday to help put together our blanket squares. I have never had people over. I've always used the (pitiful) excuse that my apartment is way too teeny tiny to have more than two people in it. I moved out of my excuse two months ago. So now I'm a little freaked out. I have to clean, first of all.....and put away (shove) all my crap somewhere that hasn't found it's place yet. I went to the store last night, so hopefully I have stuff people will like to eat and drink. And I have NO seating, so that should be fun. I know I shouldn't worry because these people are my friends and they at least won't say I'm a crappy host TO MY FACE. I just want my first time entertaining to be successful, or this may be the first and last time I open my door to the free world.

Ok, as promised, it is time to draw another life change out of the Dave Matthews Band-themed ice cream container. The turning off the tv has gone very well....it was nice to have an easy one to start out with. So here we go.....my next project is:

Oh, this is a biggie. I have the horrible habit of trying to get a jump start on my next contribution to the conversation. In the meantime, I don't really hear a word the person I'm talking to is saying. I will even sometimes go so far as to interrupt the person just so I can get out what I want to say. It's the height of rudeness and I, obviously, hate that I do it. I have a sinking feeling this one is going to take a bit more work than the last one. But if I can conquer this ugly habit, I will be so very proud of myself! God, grant me the patience to shut up. Thank you.

Over the river and through the woods.....

2007-11-20T12:18:00.000-06:00

*Note to self: This post needs pictures and links! Pronto!*

In a few hours I *hope* to be on a plane to Dallas. Flying is always an adventure because I fly on employee passes everywhere I go. It's a great perk.....I'm incredibly thankful for it (and will remember that on Thursday!). But it comes with it's stresses too. Mainly, will I get a seat on the plane. More often than not, I do. But, as Tom Petty says, the waiting is the hardest part. And if I don't get on the flight tonight, then I get to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow morning for a 6 AM flight. And no one should have to see me that early in the morning.

After a long drought of just working on homeless hat after homeless hat, I have finally gotten the spark to do some personal knitting projects! Damn Michael's for having a yarn sale. Anyway, I bought some Lion's Brand wool in bright green and brown to make a felted bag. This is my second adventure into felting and I'm hoping it goes a little better than the first. The huge rectangle that was supposed to become my needle case came out of the machine a little wonky on the sides. And I couldn't block it to save my life. And couldn't cut it to save my life either. Perhaps my second go will be much more successful.

I also bought some Moda Dea Tweedle Dee to make a scarf. Originally it was going to be a drop stitch scarf, but I decided I wasn't crazy about how that was looking. So, it will more than likely become a simple stockinette stitch scarf instead. This is my plane project. The felted bag doesn't fly well as I end up poking my neighbor with the needles for two hours!

And, lastly, I got some yarn that I can't remember the name of right now to make my first knit sweater. My friend Courtney had on the To Dye For sweater from the famous Stitch 'n Bitch book on when we went to meet Crazy Aunt Purl and I coveted it! She said it was easy. We will see. I know it involves counting. And math. Mmmmmm hmmmmm. Don't hold your breath on this one.....

And in final news before I head off on my Thanksgiving travel adventure, the whole turning off the TV thing is going really well. I no longer have to force myself to do it (with all these knitting projects, why would I turn on the TV?). So, after the break, it will be time for change #2. I know I'll be waiting with bated breath.

Gobble, gobble.

Psssssst! Who's there??

2007-11-12T15:02:00.000-06:00

Ok, I have reason to believe that someone has actually come here and read my blog. I realize that is what it is for.....and I do want readers. I think. See, I haven't told a soul that I'm doing this. I don't know....I guess I'm just not ready to announce to my friends that I write on the internet and please read it! And please tell me it doesn't suck! It very well might suck, though I hope my friends would lie and tell me it's delightful reading anyway.....

Soooooooo......if you are reading this, welcome! Chances are you got here by mistake, but make yourself at home anyway!

In other news....the "turn off the tv" experiment is going well so far. It's been easier and harder than I thought. It was easy to say "there is nothing on so time to turn off". It was even easy to find something else to do. But I can also see that finding something else to do will be challenging at times. Yes, there will always be some corner of my house that needs to be cleaned (lordy, ain't that the truth!). There will always be a book to read (sometime I will share the titles of the PILES of books I have waiting to be read). There will always be knitting to be done (hats!). But there will also be times where I say (or whine, as the case may be) "I don't feel like doing something else! I want to become a bad tv zombie!" It will be a test of strength and, I'll admit, there will be times where I give in to temptation. I guess as long as I don't plant my ass on the couch with the box turned on for endless hours, I'll be ok if I zone out once in awhile....

Tonight is knitting. Have I shared about our Hands On Nashville (HON) knitting group? I may have to come back and edit if I have not. Let's assume I have. So, as I was saying, tonight is knitting.....and I'm not really looking forward to it. This is going to make me sound like a mean, heartless person, but, I'm getting kind of tired of teaching people to knit. I was not cut out to be a teacher in any capacity (god love teachers....I don't know how you do it!). I don't explain things well, which gets everyone just a tad frustrated. Also, I am part of this group because I love to just sit and knit and drink coffee and gab about stupid stuff. But when I have to teach a new knitter, I don't really get to do any of this (for anyone that doesn't knit.....it cannot be learned in a quickie 5-minute lesson. Let this be a warning to you). So, I get to hear my friends laugh and carry on and KNIT while I focus on one person who is usually looking at me like I just spoke to them in Japanese.

Now, this does not in any way, shape or form mean I don't want to bring people into the knitting family! When you have a passion for something, of course you want to share. But having it thrust on you when you were really looking to just unwind (hee!) and not think about stuff makes it not so enjoyable. Not to mention the fact that time after time we teach these people, send them off with our yarn (it was all donated....but still) and never see them again. We're basically running a free knitting class (and free yarn distribution). I'm getting a little bitter...can't you tell??

Just let me knit in peace!

To change the world, starts with one step....

2007-11-09T12:02:00.000-06:00

.....and no matter how small, the first step is hardest of all....

So I had said that I was going to make a list of things I would like to change about myself and throw a dart at it to see what thing would come first. Then I realized I don't own darts. So Plan B was to write (or type) up the list, tear it into individual strips and pull one out of a hat (so to speak). And that's just what I did....

(The List.....all chopped up)

(The List in "the hat" a.k.a. my DMB ice cream container....)

What is change Numero Uno??

Turn off the tv.

This does not mean I am not allowed to watch tv (because that would never fly). I just have a tendency to come home from work, turn on the news and not turn the tv off until it's time for bed. Nevermind if there's nothing on. I'll have the Weather Channel tuned in if nothing else. Or I will flip and flip (knowing I won't find anything, but flip I must). And so I sit, ass to couch, for hours on end and accomplishing nothing (well, sometimes I knit/crochet....so I am getting something done). While a little mindless tv viewing is ok every once in awhile, at my house it's become the rule rather than the exception.

So, starting today, if I see that there isn't anything that just jumps out and grabs me on tv, I will turn it off. And read a book. Or clean my house. Or call a friend. Or do yoga. But no more tv for background noise or just "something to do".....cause there's plenty I SHOULD be doing! (hi. crap still piled in my dining room? I'm looking at you.)

Baby Steps

2007-11-06T21:41:00.000-06:00

That is the lesson of the day. The lesson I hope to learn....today......tomorrow.....sometime soon.

Baby. Steps.

I am an exaggerator and a drama queen. And Chicken Little. So for me to get a mature handle on my life and the things happening around me is just short of impossible. I usually spend the majority of my breathing moments completely overwhelmed because OH MY GOD, if I don't figure how to become a good friend in the next 20 minutes, whatever will I do??? Oh! And not only do I need be a better friend, I also need to get my house completely together...NOW! The pressure I put on myself. I should be fired.

So I need to learn baby steps. One thing at a time. And that thing isn't going to be perfect between now and when I roll my ass out of bed tomorrow. Patience is probably one of my worst faults (adult ADD, you guys....I just know it). I'm really not a "work long and hard to get results" person. I'm a "I want it and I want it NOW" person. a.k.a., a three-year-old.

(a little aside here....I started this post after taking half of an Ambien. And I don't remember writing any of this. Scary)

Ok, where was I? Oh yeah....me and my freak-outs.....

Now I need to decide what to work on first (the list is oh so long). Do I work on something from the social skills genre like calling people more often? Or do I pick something from the general personality traits list like live in this moment and stop worrying so much about tomorrow? What to do, what to do. I sometimes wish I could jet off to a deserted island and have all the time in the world to contemplate my navel and work through my issues in my head and I would come back a whole new person. Realistic, no?

Perhaps I will just make a list and then throw a dart at it and see what comes up. Then I'll write about my issue d'jour and what I plan to do about it! Isn't this FUN??!!

Maybe I should try Britney's approach.....

2007-11-03T17:58:00.000-05:00

I have a love/hate thing with my hair. I've come to terms with the fact that it's fine and that it's not quite naturally straight but not quite naturally wavy. I've got cowlicks on both sides of my temple and I always have a little peach fuzz at the top where it breaks off. All that I have learned to live with......the length and color are what give me trouble.....

I am 99% sure I have ADD.....no, seriously, I really think I have a deficient attention span. And this carries over to what my hair looks like on any given day. If it's short, I want it long. If it's blonde, I want it brown. If it's got layers, I want it all one length. You get the idea.

So about once a year I change it. And usually I'm changing it BACK to a way it's been before! In the 20 years since high school, I bet I have had my hair in my senior year hairstyle at least 5 times (a little past shoulder length, blonde and hanging in my eyes just enough to hide behind). You can bet that no matter what style my hair is, that I will soon decide I hate it, I will change it, but sometime in the next 5 years I will go back to it. I need help.

And that brings me to today. Well, first it brings me to two years ago. I decided that coloring my hair was doing too much damage and I wanted to go natural (though what that color would be, I did not know). After my roots had grown to a length where the two tones no longer looked classy, I cut my hair to just below my ears and did my best to color it matching my actual color. I got lots of compliments and actually liked my new short style.....for about a month. I immediately started growing the length back out.

Fast forward to about 5 days ago. I decided that my natural color was not working for me (nevermind this is the hair color God gave me. Perhaps He is colorblind). So I called my hairdresser and made an appointment for highlights. For today. Cause I don't like to sit around and mull this stuff. Once I get a hair-changing idea in my head, you can count the hours until it happens. And there aren't many.

So today I got my hair highlighted for the first time in my life (before this it was always a full-blown coloring). I like it. Though I can't decided if I'm happy that it's really just my color with a little kick or if I'm disappointed that it's not more drastic. Not that it matters anyway....in about 6 months I'll decide to change it whether I like it today or not.....I should make the appointment for the head shaving now.....

This is before....very blah

This is after....not as blah...but maybe not as wow as I thought

Every woman's obsession

2007-11-02T14:53:00.000-05:00

Yep, it's time to talk about weight.

Let me start by saying that I am not as obsessed with my weight as I used to be (maybe as I get on in years, I just don't care as much). But it's still an issue and I'm still dealing with it.

The method of dieting I have found works best for me is counting calories and exercising. I did this three years ago and was very successful. "How successful could it have been if you are doing it again?" you may ask. Well, I did very well for a long time and the weight (not even all of it) has come back very slowly. But come back it has, so it's time to buckle down!

I write down everything that goes in my mouth (try that sometime....it is scary!) I have a website I just love that helps me figure the calories on things not packaged (it also has a bunch of other calculators on there....quite a lovely site!). I, personally, am trying to stick to 1,200 calories a day...that's what is healthy for me at my height and weight. It's not easy to do right now because I have stretched out my stomach and sometimes get hungry before the next meal/snack. But I know from experience that my tummy will get used to the reduced food intake and pretty soon I won't even be able to eat the amount I did before. Oh what a happy day it will be when I don't reach for that third piece of pizza!

The second part of the equation (and, to me, the most important part) is the exercise. I *really* slacked off during the summer (it's too hottttttt!). But now I'm able to walk at lunch and I'm finally using that yoga dvd I got for my birthday (yoga: an obsession for another day....). See, I didn't really gain that much weight.....but I sure have gotten flabby! I look 5 months pregnant most of the time. Only it's not cute on me and there will be no bouncing baby whatever in the next 4 months (can't make adorable baby booties for this lump! No way!)

Anyhow, my short term goal is 5 pounds by Thanksgiving (three weeks). But, really, just being able to breathe in my clothes would make me happy. (as we speak, I am sitting here in a pair of jeans that I have unbuttoned and unzipped under my sweatshirt. So classy. And so embarrassing.)

And, just so I have this on record......on November 1st I weighed in at 152 pounds. Can I reach 147 by Turkey Day?? Methinks the answer is a resounding "abso-freakin-lutely!"

(Tune in tomorrow when we will discuss my love-hate relationship with my hair.....)

Damn, I'm good.....

2007-10-31T14:48:00.000-05:00

What has it been.....7? 8 months? I've never been good at the diary thing....some things never change....

While I would love to do a "catch up" post....ummmm...not so much. Most things are the same anyway. I just live in a house now. That's been my life since April.

Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. While Tennessee doesn't get cold enough fast enough for me, we are at least now at the point where it is downright chilly in the mornings and I'm no longer sweating halfway through drying my hair. I love the changing of the leaves and even have my kitchen decorated in fall colors (all year round....not just for autumn). And, to me, the "holiday season" started at the beginning of October....Halloween being my favorite holiday! (I am going to ignore the fact that Christmas decorations have been in the stores since Labor Day.....)

(this was last year....it's been too dry for fall color this year...)

I am going to get married in October. The year (and the groom) are yet to be determined. If I could find a place on earth where it is fall all year long, I would be on the next plane. You people can have your springs and summers.....fall and winter are my seasons....bring on the cold!!

So tonight will be my first Halloween in my new house. I have no idea what to expect as far as trick or treaters go. I have my super huge bag of Smarties (sorry, I can't afford the good stuff!). I hope we have a moderate amount of kids come down our street.....I do love seeing the little kids dressed up.....though I also hope I don't hear my doorbell ring at 10:30 at night (it has happened to my parents....so I know). Oh, and the teenagers can stay home. If I have to ask you if you are maybe a bit old to be trick or treating, then you are. So, maybe an hour's worth of kids will be good....after that, the novelty will have worn way off....

We are allowed to dress up at work (which is surprising considering some of our dress code rules) Anyhow, about half the people get into it....and that includes your's truly. The last two years I went as a hippie (which was so not a stretch). This year, with Potter-mania, I am Hermione Granger. It was actually easier than I thought....the only stuff I had to buy was the socks and tie! It ended up being the perfect choice because I can totally pull off the Hermione hair (this weekend I'm getting it highlighted, so after that, not so much). And tomorrow I'll already be thinking of what I will be next year....

Jennifer is "barefoot and pregnant" and I am just fat in this outfit....

Where Are You Going?

2007-03-22T21:00:00.000-05:00

This post brought to you by wine....love it or leave it!

I cannot promise in any way, shape or form that this will make any sense. But so be it.

I'm not happy.

Specifically, I'm not happy with me.

I came to this conclusion about a week ago. I've had my share of ups and downs. Right now I'm in a down period. I hope it doesn't last long. But, more importantly, I hope that only good comes from it. Feeling better isn't nearly as important as learning, changing, and growing. (Oooooo....so deep!)

I won't go into all the ways I'm displeased with the person I am. It would take me forever anyway. I just know that things have to change. I am someone that I wouldn't particularly want to hang out with. Not good, eh? I have just been so negative recently.....it's been toxic. I've not really shared this yet, but I am a spiritual person. I talk to God on a pretty regular basis. Again, details aren't what I want to get into right now, but I'm trying to walk the walk, so to speak.

Anyhow, my biggest dream in life is to find the man of my dreams. Read that as you will, but being single is not a happy place for me. But I realized (for maybe the ten thousandth time) the other night that meeting Mr. Where-have-you-been-all-my-life right now might not be the best thing. What do they say? "You can't love another until you love yourself"? Ain't feeling the love right now! I want a man that "loves me just as I am".....but I don't love me just as I am, so I'm thinking the timing isn't right.

It's just so hard. Will I ever get to that perfect point? Will I ever feel like I could truly be happy with or without a man? Will I ever stop worrying about how the rest of the world views my singleton status? I seem to have a lot more questions than answers. How I wish I could turn to tarot card readers or horoscopes or something to tell me my future! Just a little glimpse.....please!!

But I keep on keepin' on. Tomorrow is another day and all that. The good Lord is probably wishing I'd lay off the wine for awhile (if only!) But for right now, I will snuggle under the covers and cuddle with my kitty. I mean, how could you not just love and chuckle at this face?

Hi! I suck at this blog thing!

2007-03-15T10:21:00.000-05:00

Thank goodness no one is counting on me to write on this thing every day because they would be so overwhelmingly disappointed.....

Ok so....house news. After weeks of stress wondering "will I get the house?", "have I gotten all my paperwork in?", "is anyone ever going to call me back?" I does look like this thing is a go! I still don't know when the actual building will begin, but I drove by last night and the lot has been cleared:

And how exciting is it that I have trees! I am assuming that these will stay since they did clear out a few dead ones already. I was also excited to find out that I have a "driveway" (actually, a paved "ramp" leading up to my yard) This is great because I really want to be able to park alongside the house or even in the back (fingers crossed that the deck is high enough to park under).

So now I wait. I will drive by again on Saturday and see if anything has changed. This is just too cool!

Other news snippets:

I bought a ticket to see The Police in Dallas on June 27th! STING!!!!!! I am going by myself, which is a bit of a bummer....but it's STING!!!!!
I am going to see a Stars game this Saturday and I'm hoping to meet Ralph & Razor (our announcers). They are just too cool. No one can make me laugh more during a hockey game....
I finished the Magic Scarf (pictures soon....I promise!) and am now working on jungle animals for Michelle's twins. I've been overloaded with the baby stuff recently....though I can't complain too much since it gives me the chance to work on some new things...

Ok....St. Patrick's Day Resolution....must post more often! (because, some day, someone may actually read this and will want to hear from me more than once every two weeks)

Neglecting my blogging duties

2007-02-28T12:40:00.000-06:00

I think about posting to my blog a lot....but follow-through is another thing. It couldn't be that my list of thing to do is longer than The Oddessy or anything. Or that I think "well, that would be a good thing to write about....but it will need pictures....meh....". Or especially that I think there is no way I could write anything that anyone would be remotely interested in. Nope....those wouldn't be reasons at all.....

So, this is a very important week. It is the Week of the New House. On Monday I met with my real estate guy and we completed and signed my contract offer (this followed the freak-out I had last week that said house would be sold out from under me while said real estate guy was out of town). So now I sit and wait (not patiently) for the seller to come back with an acceptance or counter offer of my offer (we're pulling for the acceptance here people).

Yesterday I spent my entire day lining up a new lender (the one I was going to go with didn't meet all the requirements) and making sure I was crossing t's and dotting i's with the Housing Fund, with whom absolute acceptance is necessary. And again with the waiting.

I am pretty sure this is going to happen. And then I will become a homeowner. How scary is THAT?! But it's going to be so cool. I've been decorating and upgrading this house in my head for a week now ("Hello, Home Depot! I am your new best friend!"). And, since ground has not even been broken yet, I have plenty of time to plan and pack and save up some more money. Cause I hate to be rushed.

In other news.....I am going to a single's mixer this Friday (all a part of that "getting out more" plan). I will, of course, be very nervous since my social skills suck. But, as my mom always says, "Just go. You might meet someone." Well....I certainly won't if I don't go. So here's hoping that I can think of something to say!

Ok, I will leave you with a composite drawing of my (hopefully) future home:It's so PRETTY!!!!

A day late and a dollar short

2007-02-15T14:26:00.000-06:00

I was going to write this last night, being that it was Valentine's Day and all, but my laptop picked the international day o' love to crash. Thanks HP. Love you too.

Now, back to the topic at hand. Valentine's Day. I am a vocal hater of said V-day. I have worn black from head to toe every year since junior high. If you are within 100 feet of me in the month of February, you will get to hear *why* I think Valentine's Day is the stupidest idea ever. Even in the (very few) years I have had a boyfriend this time of year, I have told them that I don't really *do* Valentine's Day and could they please just surprise me on some other random day? (This usually didn't work as said boyfriends would think I was joking and that they would be in very hot water if cards, chocolates and flowers were nowhere in sight on February 14th).

But this year I broke the mold. I have spent a lot of energy on this hate fest and, you know what? Valentine's Day still exists. My protests, boycotts and all-around bitterness haven't hindered the sales of flowers one bit! And I'm sure in year's past that I have just been an absolute joy to be around. So this year I just ignored it altogether. I was indifferent to the commercials, I wore cream and green yesterday, I partook in a pink and red cookie a co-worker brought in, and when someone wished me a Happy Valentine's Day, I said it right back without the nasty tone or a diatribe on it being nothing but a Hallmark Holiday.

I'm growing!

Happy Day After Valentine's Day everyone!! XXXOOOXXOOXXXXOOOO

Risk Taken!

2007-02-09T10:22:00.000-06:00

Per yesterday's post, I have taken my first leap into riskdom. Go me!

Ok, so I read our local paper online and I happened to notice that a single member of the male persuasion had been conned by his fellow newspaper staffers to attend a speed dating event. He was supposed to blog his experience leading up to the event and afterwards. I didn't even see this until the day of, so I was unable to sign up to speed date the night he was going. Anyway, I thought he was cute from his picture and I laughed at his blog entries. But what to do now? I didn't want to be seen as blog stalker girl and I also figured ala Sleepless In Seattle that he had received e-mails from every single woman in Nashville by this time.

But, because I was Ms. Risk Taker Extraordinaire, I decided to e-mail him anyway. And I had to put my creative juices to the test....because no ordinary e-mail would do. So I wrote it from the angle of writing him for a "friend" ("My friend thinks you're cute and funny", "My friend would love to know how she might meet you"). It's hokey beyond all belief.....but I sent it anyway!

Now it's a wait-and-see game. I'm not holding my breath. But I'm just glad I chose to do something rather than sit back and hope a miracle would occur. I'll let you know if I hear anything....

Don't mind that girl staring at you....she's practicing!

2007-02-07T09:04:00.000-06:00

It's time.

I really try hard not to get wrapped up in the fact that I am 36 and single. Everything happens in it's own time, right? Not everyone is married by 25. There's nothing wrong with me. Blah. Blah. Blah.

But, to be quite honest, it bothers me. Like this past weekend when I'm visiting all my relatives in Kansas City. No one asks me about my love life.....but I wonder if they wonder. I am the only adult not in a relationship (not that the other adults necessarily have "healthy" relationships, you understand). I just want them to know that, yes, I am a heterosexual female that is quite capable of having a boyfriend...I just don't right now!

So, not being one to just sit around and wait for things to happen, I've decided I need to make more of an effort. Now, I've tried online dating sites and I've tried speed dating....both with minimal results. I still can't quite shake wanting it to happen "by chance". So here's the plan:

First, I need to just get out and do more. I have my knitting groups and other volunteer things, but, let's face it, I'm meeting a lot more women then men doing this! But, even when I'm knitting with the girls, I need to LOOK AROUND. A few months ago a fellow knitter met a guy during one of our meetings.....so it is possible. I've been meaning to go to the local Amnesty International meetings for awhile now. No more excuses. Must go.

The second thing closely follows the first. I need to pay more attention. I am terrified of making eye contact....am I staring? Was that look long enough? Too long? It's high time I started practicing. How many people have I missed meeting because I am too scared to look up?

And thirdly, I have to take risks. I am so guarded that I don't ever take a chance. What if they don't like me? What if they don't smile back? What if they think I'm weird? What if's be gone! I have to put myself out there. Set myself up for rejection. Stop taking the safe route. Safety is overrated! There will be people that don't like me, but I have to learn to deal with that. Hell, there are people that don't like me now, and probably because I am so meek and scared. I've always heard that once you get into your 30's, you start caring less about what other people think. Yeah....that can start happening anytime now!

So, there you have it. Obsession with self-analyzation? Check! Now I'm going to enjoy some alone time....because soon it will become a thing of the past....I hope.....

A little hodge, a little podge

2007-01-26T11:47:00.000-06:00

I'm dealing with the cold that isn't really but isn't not. And if that made sense to you, you must have what I have!

My week has been a variety of fun emotions....mostly on the negative side, but I'm working hard to turn it around. I'm already stressed about the house thing. I drove by the first two houses my real estate agent found and the neighborhoods were a little....well....discouraging. The first was across from a tall apartment building and the houses next to it were not well kept (if you know what I mean). The second was so cute but seemed very out of place in the industrial area it was in. Sorry, but living next to a wrecker service wasn't exactly what I had in mind.....

I am *not* the poster child for patience and I'm already anxious about not finding something in time. And I haven't been out to actually view a house yet. This is probably normal...I mean, I just talked to my house guy for the first time Monday night. But I'm just ready to be done and settled! And don't get me started on the money. I start breaking out in hives just thinking about it.....

Oh, but I broke a promise to myself but feel it was totally worth it......I have now packed one box! I was supposed to wait until February 1st because, once I get started, I can't stop, and I swear my entire apartment will be packed in a week. But it's worth it because it makes me feel better when my stupid neighbors are making noise with their music, swearing and stomping up and down the stairs. It gives me a zen feeling that in three months (or less) I will move to a place where the only music making the walls vibrate will be mine (and it will be Dave...oh yes....it will!)

But back to the money (and total lack thereof), I've managed to spend a LOT of it this month. Not going so well with the budgeting. Some were necessary expenses (i.e., car registration, Rachel's birthday gift, etc.) Most were not (i.e., the shirt I bought MYSELF when buying Rachel's birthday gift). So I've got to get back up on that wagon because life as I know it will be over once I sign my life away to a 30-year mortgage.....

Then there's the eating. God, I can put away the ice cream! It's probably everything else that is causing me to eat worse than normal and it's showing on the ol' waistline (oh what pretty grooves my jeans make on my skin!). I've been doing better with the walking (and am about to head out in a minute). I just need to think before popping stuff in my mouth....because mindless eating is a bummer.....

On a happier note.....they have mentioned the s-word for Saturday night (no, not THAT s-word....the SNOW s-word!). If it happens, you can bet that I will be sitting all bundled up on my porch watching it all.night.long. It's been a long wait and I want to see some white stuff, dammit! I don't even care if it accumulates....just to see it fall will make me giddy. Oh please Snow Gods! Please let me see snow!

Ok, enough rambling. Time to go home and plan my strategy for tomorrow's house hunt with a glass of wine and a kitty on my lap....

The House - Part 1 in a series.....

2007-01-19T13:45:00.000-06:00

I am the queen of whims. I get grand ideas in my head all the time. Most of them I never even follow through on.....some I do (like my trip to London).

My latest whim is a home of my own. It came about because of two things:

1) I am totally obsessed with HGTV. The thought of actually being able to ALTER my living space is just too tantalizing to handle! I want to paint.....I want to install things.....I want to tear things apart and put them together again. Can't do that in an apartment....

2) I have spent a good part of the last three years hating my neighbors. I live on the second floor of a three-floor building. This means I have people on ALL sides of me. My last two upstairs neighbors have driven my nuts.....the last guy was a STOMPER. I swear he was wearing concrete-enforced combat boots. The current guy plays reggae music very loud. And I think he owns only one cd. And it's not any better downstairs. The last tenants were a Hispanic couple that yelled and threw things a lot....and always at really inappropriate hours. The guy now screams out obscenities and bangs on the wall at strange intervals. Needless to say, I am SO looking forward to not sharing walls with anyone....

So today I took the first big step in the house hunting process.....I applied for a loan. I will hear on my pre-approval early next week and then I can hit the ground running. The lease is up on my apartment in April and I am *praying* that everything falls in to place at the right time. I am going to go and talk to my apartment manager about what I need to do. I am hoping that, because I have been a very good tenant for over 5 years, they will cut me some slack.

Anyhow, I am excited and scared. I really have no idea what I'm getting in to. I really hope I can afford all this (if I could just win the $205 million Powerball, this would not be a problem). My monthly payments are going to go up, I know that utilities will go up, and the upfront costs of movers, appliances, getting utilities switched, etc. But other people do this every day, right? If they can figure it out, so should I!

Next step is to find a real estate agent and have them start looking. The next three months are going to be a whirlwind of craziness! Hopefully ending in a cute little house that I can start to demolish......

Obsession #583: Knitting

2007-01-18T08:54:00.000-06:00

I've already touched on my love for crocheting, but I also love to knit. I first learned about 2 years ago from my co-worker, Kim (who has mad knitting skills). I made a lovely yellow and red Chiefs scarf (you know...the Chiefs....obsession #407). I made it from very basic Red Heart yarn and learned a lesson all knitters do.....stockinette stitch rolls.

I blocked. I washed. I dried under cinder blocks. I ironed (verrrrrrrry carefully). Still rolls. Oh well.

Up until a few months ago, I mostly crocheted. Crocheting is faster. I have self-diagnosed ADD. We ADDers love fast. But watching all the knitsters at my knitting group made me give knitting another try. I've gotten a little faster after taking up the continental method (learned from Amy on knittinghelp.com.....she's fabulous!!)

I am also working on a project now that gives me LOTS of practice.....I'm making a case to carry my needles in....and it's going to be felted! This is my first voyage into the felting world and I really hope it turns out the way I want. The thing about felting projects is you have to make things really big because they will shrink in the wash. This case has to be 36" long! That doesn't sound like much, but this is the case at a little over 23":

My yarn obsession has led to some nice new strange habits (knitter know of what I speak). I am already a part of a knitting group through Hands On Nashville (we make hats, scarves and blankets for the homeless, hospitals, nursing homes, etc.) and now I want to join the local Stitch n' Bitch group so I can work on personal projects with knitsters as well. I read one knitters blog....Crazy Aunt Purl. The girl is a RIOT and writes ten times better than I ever could. I can now spend hours at Hobby Lobby and JoAnn's Fabrics just looking at yarn and dreaming up possible projects. I Tivo the show Knitty Gritty on HGTV everyday. Oh, and I've become a no-bad-place-to-knit knitter. Of course I knit on my couch, during my lunch hour at work, and on airplanes......but I've graduated to knitting in my car in traffic (don't worry....no knitting is done while the vehicle is in motion!) I haven't become quite good enough, or brave enough, to knit in movie theaters or at church....but I aspire to those heights! (I also aspire to knit while not constantly looking at my work.....I know it can be done because I've seen others do it!)

I will post my knitting (and crocheting) adventures as they come along. Though I didn't too well on posting my finished sweater.....whoops. Guess I need to try adding "photography" and "posting to my blog" as obsessions...ya think?

I'm such a coward.....

2007-01-15T16:51:00.000-06:00

The local Amnesty International meeting starts in an hour. I haven't been to one yet....and it doesn't look like I'm going in an hour either. Why not? Hell if I know. I guess I'm scared. Scared of meeting new people, scared I'm going to say or do something stupid, scared of leaving my house. And I know I'm going to regret it. (I already do) Why can't I do this? Why is it so hard for me to just get myself together and go?

Oh, but I will just sit here and make up excuses (for who, I'm not sure). But the guilt and feeling stupid will last all night. The next meeting isn't for another month....and I tell myself I will definitely go to that one.....kinda like I said I would definitely go to this one. This is bad. I haven't so much as stepped out my front door in five days. The only person I have had any contact with is an hour-long phone call with my mom. I am far too comfortable being alone.....this hermit-ness cannot in any way be healthy.

And doesn't stop with staying home from social functions. Oh, but I wish it did. I also tend to avoid phone calls. Unless I am expecting a call, I often let people just go to voicemail (to all my friends....it's not you, it's me!) I hate being caught off guard (it's when I tend to make my stupidest social gaffes). Of course, I hate talking on the phone anyway. I'm not good at it at all. I'm a very visual person....so when I'm talking to someone, I like to see facial expressions and body language. When I'm on the phone, I do a whole lot more of the babbling-to-fill-the-silence. It ain't pretty.

Ok, I need to stop thinking about this. It's too late to do anything now, so I just have to take a deep breath and tell myself that tomorrow is a brand new day and that I WILL get better at this. I really, really will.....

Where is winter?

2007-01-13T13:51:00.000-06:00

It's a balmy 70 degrees here in Nashville, Tennessee. I hate it. I moved here five years ago from Ft. Worth in hopes of seeing "real" winters. Since that time, North Texas has gotten significantly more winter weather than we have. *grumble grumble*

I love snow. Love, love, LOVE! I am not a fan of driving in it....but, duh.....I stay in when the white stuff starts to fall! I'm a native of Kansas City, so I am not a run- to- the- grocery- store- for- all- the- bread- and- milk- I- can- grab person. Hello Nashville? When was the last time you were trapped in your house for a week due to snow? And I'm such a homebody that it's heaven for me to not have to leave my house for days.

I know I should consider moving even further north. I have thought about Minneapolis. Or even east to North Carolina. My politics have seriously got me looking at Canada. Hell, I could move back to Texas.....it's 32 there now! But I know the moment I pack up and head north, Nashville will have it's snowiest (is that a word?) winters on record and wherever I go will be snow free for years!

Meet my little baby punkdoodle

2007-01-11T10:18:00.000-06:00

Or my Josey-kitten.....or the Josmeister....or do-wat ("do" as in "do-re-mi" and "wat" as in "lightbulb watt")....or the most precious baby kitten on the planet.....the nicknames do just go on and on....

Josey is 9 years old and queen of the household. She was named after my favorite song by a college band I used to see....Deep Blue Something ("Breakfast At Tiffany's" anyone?). Though most people assume her name comes from Josie and the Pussycats. Cute. But not true.

So far Josey has tolerated her human fairly well. I may be a little slow on opening the door to the back porch, I don't make trips to the fridge to get her chicken/turkey/ham as much as she'd like, and then there's that having the audacity to think I can sleep in HER bed. But she's kept me around this long.....what a cross she must bear.

She would tell you that, despite my shortcomings, I'm good for a few things. I take those wonderful showers every morning that leave water on the tile for her to lap up. I fill the birdfeeder to give her hours of chirping enjoyment with the birdies. I bought a papasan chair perfect for afternoon naps in the sun. And I DRIVE to Texas every Christmas just so she can go and see her Nana and Grandad, peruse their much bigger habitat, enjoy three laps instead of just one, and chirp at many more birds than our poor little apartment ever sees. But she's not spoiled....not at all.....

Happy Birthday, Dave!

2007-01-09T08:46:00.000-06:00

Today's is Dave Matthews' 40th birthday (I had to look up the year....I thought he was only 39...). I love Dave. I would marry Dave (except he already has a wonderful wife and two beautiful girls). If I could find a guy that LOOKS like Dave, I would be happy. *sigh*

My DMB obsession started back in 2002. Actually, I had bought Under The Table And Dreaming in 1995 because I loved Ants Marching. But, at the time, I didn't like anything else on that cd. My musical taste must have gone through a dark period. Anyway, fast forward to 2002 and a very brief "relationship" with a Dave fan (yes, I know there are five equal members of the band, but it's just easier for me to refer to them as "Dave"). I had mentioned said blip-on-my-dating-record to my best friend from college and this sent her into a frenzy.... "Oh! I love them! Do you listen to them?! You should! Oh my god!" So, in a moment of weakness wanting to have something else in common with the Blip, I asked Laurie to recommend a cd where I could get a good sampling of music. As any real fan will do, she suggested live stuff.....Red Rocks, I believe, was her first choice. She also mentioned that they had a new cd coming out soon....Busted Stuff. And, oh my god, I should go out and get as many Dave cd's as possible right.this.minute!

Well, I waited until Busted Stuff was released (July 7th....a date I remember well). I went to Best Buy because they tend to put everything by an artist on sale on release day. Bingo! I got about 5 cd's that day....I was so excited! I popped Busted Stuff in as soon as I got in the car and headed home. I enjoyed the title track....windows down....very nice. But the second song. Oh, that song. Grey Street. See, Blip had broken my heart. I was not in a good place. And that song. I know it sounds stupid, but Dave got into my head and wrote that song! I had to pull over I was crying so hard. And then I listened to it again. And, thus, my love for the DMB began.

So, today (as with pretty much every day (hee....Everyday!) ) I will be listening to Dave and his lovely voice on WDMB radio.

Love you, Dave! Happy Birthday!

Mom, it's my birthday
What would you say...
-What Would You Say, 1994

New Year, New Blog

2007-01-02T20:35:00.000-06:00

Hello 2007. Will you be better than 2006? Worse? About the same? I'm going to put all my chips on better....because, really? What do I have to lose?

So far this blog hasn't had much direction...and I'm not promising it ever will. Most blogs I've read (and there haven't been that many....yet) have a "theme"....one thing that the blogger is mainly focused on. But my interests and obsessions change day-to-day and what I want to focus on today is not necessarily what will interest me in the least tomorrow (ADD anyone?). Five years ago I would have talked ad nauseum about Garth Brooks (*ahem* stalker *ahem*). But today I hardly listen to him at all (though my lovely right ankle tattoo is a constant reminder of the life I used to lead). Today's obsessions include knitting/crocheting, the Dave Matthews Band, getting asked out, my weight, travel, reading, my Tivo.....oh, the list goes on and on.....

As of today, I have not made this blog "public" (haven't told a soul)....I probably will soon. And then we'll see just how many people want to obsess with me! (one way ticket to psycho coming up....)

Ok....off to knit....while listening to Dave.....and thinking about where my next date is coming from....

The Sweater - Part III

2006-10-13T08:49:00.000-05:00

We're in the home stretch now! I've finished the "body" and am now working on the sleeves. I got a little obsessed last weekend and worked on it for a full day, but I really do want to get it done by Thanksgiving (which is a little over 40 days away). I started thinking "dang, what am I going to do when I'm done with this project?" But I know about 3 pregnant/recent mothers that I can do stuff for.....perhaps trying my hand at booties for the first time? And of course there's always my HON stuff.....can never make too many hats, scarves or blanket squares. I'm beginning to think this is not just a passing hobby.....

London Calling

2006-10-03T11:39:00.000-05:00

London is amazing. I'm not even sure where to begin....I managed to write 35 pages of thoughts and observations in the five days I was there. The two days leading up to the trip were stressful....flying non-rev has it's perks, but it's downsides as well. And I think my nerves got the best of me on the flight because my upset stomach kept me in Heathrow's bathroom for three hours (my nervous tummy is a constant form of fun). But after some swigs of Alka-Seltzer (thanks Rachel!), I got on my way and had a blast!

Day 1 - Got into London on the Tube ok. Had a little trouble finding the hotel, but once I did, I got my stuff up to my teeny-tiny little room and headed out into the city. Today was a walking day....no tours or visits to specific buildings. I walked to Westminster Abbey and saw Big Ben and Parliament. I walked toward Trafalgar Square and happened to be in the right place at the right time to see Charles and Camilla coming out of one of the government buildings! Trafalgar Square had some festival going on and the place was packed. Picadilly Circus wasn't as cool as I thought....it's probably better at night. Hyde Park is HUGE! The Speaker's Corner was entertaining.....after much searching, I found Princess Diana's Memorial Fountain and then walked to Kensington Palace (strange that it's just in the middle of the park). I'm surprised I made it as long as I did on that first day.....not much sleep on the plane and then the tummy troubles didn't slow me down.

Day 2 - Started the day at St. Paul's. It's breathtaking inside. And the very polite fire alarm cracked me up! I climbed all 400 steps to the top of the dome....the views were spectacular (and the climb left my legs very wobbly). I made my way across the Milleneum Bridge to Tate Modern....a bit of a disappointment. I enjoy art that I recognize and there wasn't much there. I walked along the Thames toward the London Eye. Lordy, there were a lot of joggers out there! Not sure what jobs people have that allow them to run at lunch (do all businesses come with showers for employees?)....but there are no fat Londoners. The Eye was fun, though definitely a one-time thing. St. James's park is lovely....lots of flowers and water fowl. Last stop was Buckingham Palace....just a great place to sit and people-watch (and I had to scope out my "changing of the guard" spot)

Day 3 - Trip to Windsor Castle. Once again with the mild confusion with the bus and stuff, but I got out of there and really enjoyed sight seeing from the bus. It took us an hour and twenty minutes to get to Windsor....and most of that was just getting out of London! But the houses in England are just like you see on tv and movies. The Castle is HUGE! The audio guide came free with the admission and while I don't like holding the thing to my ear, it was very informative. The Queen's Dollhouse was really neat as was the gallery of pictures of Queen Elizabeth's life. After I got back into town, I headed to the Library.....loved how they had everything you would want to see all in one room! I loved seeing all the hand-written stuff....especially the really, really old Bibles.

Day 4 - Changing of the Guard. As usual, I got there outrageously early (hey, better early than late!). It was pretty cool....but definitely a "been there, done that". Headed up to the National Gallery....another disappointment. All the works I really wanted to see were being moved. Oh well....guess I'll have to come back. Next was the tour of Westminster Abbey. Another gorgeous cathedral. The ceilings are so high....and the place is full of dead people! It's starting to hit me now that the next day is my last. I'm not ready to leave, but yet I can tell that being a tourist is beginning to wear on me....

Day 5 - Started at Covent Garden....this needs to be done later in the day....not much happening at 10am. I walk up Fleet Street toward the Tower of London. I'm to the point where I'm seeing sights that I'm only remotely interested in and I am getting tired. I finally have the traditional fish and chips (a fish stick and fries, basically). The Beefeater tour at the Tower is very good (though doesn't cover everything). The Crown Jewels are amazing and seeing a film of the Coronation is cool (Elizabeth was so young!). I had planned on walking across the Tower Bridge, but I needed to get to Westminster Abbey for Evensong, so I ended up taking my first bus ride across it instead. Evensong was more of a service than I thought, though hearing the choir in that immense building really was awesome. I rode the double-decker back to Victoria Station (and got to sit up top and in the front!). I grabbed some last-minute stuff at the shops in the station and then just watched people for awhile. It was hard to tear myself away and head to my hotel....I knew this was it.

This was truly an amazing trip. There were advantages and disadvantages to going solo....not sure one way is better than the other. I wish I could travel overseas again next year....but buying a house comes first. I will find a way to take a long weekend somewhere here in the States though....this traveling thing is just too much fun!!

I'm 'a leavin'....on a jet plane.....

2006-09-14T14:32:00.000-05:00

London, here I come!

Saturday is the big day. My first trip over that big pond and I must say I'm a bit nervous about it. I'm mostly anxious about the first day.....will I get on a flight? Can I find an ATM? Will I be able to figure out the Tube? How will I do all by myself in a strange city? I figure if I can get to my hotel and set out, after that I will be just fine.

The whole walking around the city and taking everything in excites me to no end! You might as well stamp "TOURIST" in big, bold letters on my forehead...I really don't intend to hide the fact. I plan on setting a world record on how many pictures one person can take in 5 days (I'm sure some Japanese tourist holds the current record). "Oh look! A London pigeon!" "Oh look! A London tulip!" "Oh look! A London homeless person!" Yes, it really is going to be that bad.

This trip is a true venture outside my comfort zone. All decisions are up to me. No one to bounce ideas off of. And I'll have to talk to strangers...can't send someone to do it for me. And I'll have to work at not getting lonely....it would be nice to be able to turn and say "Isn't this fun?" to someone I'm sharing this with. But I believe that this will be a great learning experience I'm hoping for a confidence boost and that I learn a little something about myself in the process. It takes courage to travel overseas by yourself. I deserve a little pat on the back just for trying!

I will not burn the day away.....

The Sweater - Part II

2006-09-07T14:06:00.000-05:00

Just moving right along on the old sweater. I'm almost done with the "body" of it....I'm making it longer than the pattern calls for. I think once I get that done, the rest will go quickly. I work on it when I get bored at work (shhhhh! Don't tell anyone....) and, at this rate, I should have it done by Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, I have been neglecting my hat-making responsibilities...with cold weather around the corner, I should perhaps whip a few of those out.

Anyway, here is the progress thus far:

Are you ready for some football??

2006-09-06T14:27:00.000-05:00

There are many reasons that fall is my favorite time of year: I like cool weather.....the leaves are so pretty.....sweaters and jeans make me happy.....I get to sleep with my windows open.....and, finally, football begins! There's not much that beats sitting on the couch on Sunday afternoon watching my team play. My team being the Chiefs (or "Cheeps", as I called them when I was three). The boys in red haven't been to a Super Bowl since 7 months before I was born.....so I'm thinking they're due.

Chiefs fans are faithful fans (you have to be with the statistic above). We have no room or tolerance for the bandwagon fan. You're either in or you're out. And most fans are actually from Kansas City. I'm always a little surprised (but delighted) when I find a fan that has never lived there. Most of us were just born this way.....I think they make you sign a contract before they let you go home from the hospital. (It should be noted that my sister is not a fan. She was born outside of Chicago. Enough said.)

So the Chiefs kick off the season hosting Cincinnati this Sunday. I will show my pride by wearing my appropriate red home jersey this Friday ("Red Friday" for those that don't know). And you can find me at Jonathon's at noon on Sunday.....I'll be the one yelling "GO CHIEFS!!!!!!!!"

The Sweater

2006-08-28T14:44:00.000-05:00

I am a knitting and crocheting nut (which sends my geek factor off the charts). I learned to crochet about 10 years ago from a co-worker. I made an afghan and then nothing else (short attention span). I picked it back up about two years ago and learned to knit in the meantime. I've done several scarves and hats for myself, two really nice ponchos, a fancy wrap and now have decided to venture into my first sweater. So far it's going pretty well. I did mess up the directions after about 10 rows and had to undo the whole thing *sob*.....but now it's looking like it's supposed to. I have no idea how long it's going to take me....I'm hoping to have it finished by Christmas (Merry Christmas to me!). What's amazing is that the airlines let you take crochet hooks and knitting needles on the plane. A bottle of shampoo is deadly, but a sharp size 5 crochet hook capable of taking out an eye is perfectly fine. Not that I'm complaining....it's nice to have the option of reading or crafting. So now I can geek out in airports and on planes as well as in my own home.

But I don't keep all these great handmade items for myself (that would really make me the crazy crochet lady). I am part of a group that knits and crochets hats, scarves and blankets for the needy. My expertise is adult hats....I can whip one out in about an hour. I've had tons of fun mixing colors together......Nashville's homeless won't have boring hats! Others in our group do baby hats for the newborns at General Hospital and we're about to start making blankets for any group we can find who needs them (homeless shelters, nursing homes, etc.). What's exciting is all the new knitters that have come to our meetings to learn. I bet we've taught close to 10 people how to knit. The more geeks we can create, the better we feel!

Anyway, back to the sweater.......here is what it looks like today.

I will post updates as needed.....and then the whole wonderful thing when it's finished!

Does this happen in the real world?

2006-08-26T21:00:00.000-05:00

I rented "Must Love Dogs" because what single woman looking for love doesn't love a good "single woman looking for love" movie? Right off the bat, Sarah, the now single woman, is surrounded by people who are trying to set her up with men. This happens a lot in movies and on television.....single people are always bombarded with friends and family trying to help them find the love of their lives. My question is......does this happen to REAL single people? Because it sure as hell doesn't happen to me. I have been trying for YEARS to get anyone and everyone I know to set me up with men. And no one ever does. They all tell me they don't know anyone (or wouldn't subject me to the ones they do know). Is there something I'm doing wrong or is this just another thing that makes for a good screenplay but doesn't reflect the real world? (or do I need to pretend that I don't want to be set up, therefore causing everyone in my life to want to do the opposite??)

SET ME UP.....PLEASE!!! (and if he looks like John Cusack, even better!)

Green thumb? Not so much....

2006-08-25T08:21:00.000-05:00

I took my $50 gift card to Home Depot and bought plants. I plan on buying a home next year and it's time for me to learn how to take care of various vegetation so that my yard won't look pitiful. So far I am failing miserably. My first victim was a ground cover plant that looks completely fried. The care instructions say "full sun" but now I'm not so sure. I have repotted it and we'll see if it comes back. Next is an African Violet I brought to work. Ok, these are supposed to be impossible to kill! But I think I overwatered it. The leaves still look good....but the flowers are completely gone. Hopefully I have not sent it to it's maker. The third and final victim (so far) is a yellow mum. Again, the instructions say "full sun" but the flowers are almost all dried up. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong! As an environmentalist, it is quite disconcerting that I can't get my little green friends to stay alive for me. I feel like Charlie Brown and his Christmas tree....."I've killed it! Everything I touch gets ruined!"

Going in the right direction

2006-08-22T11:58:00.000-05:00

Time to give myself a little pat on the back....

Like many Americans, I managed to get myself pretty deep in credit card debt. Unfortunately, I didn't have a whole lot to show for it....no fancy furniture or wonderful vacations.....mostly just impulse buys at Wal-Mart. Quite sad, really. At one time, I was over $18,000 in debt. Yikes! If I didn't get my spending under control soon, I was going to find that my credit card payments were higher than my rent.

I have slowly been paying it down....sometimes still charging things, but I haven't gone above the previous month even once. My debt is now down to $5,400. Yippee!! To some people, that's still a lot.....to me sometimes that is still a lot. But it's all on one card (0% apr) and my minimum payments are only $112 a month (I make bigger payments than that most months). I cannot WAIT until that figure goes under $100 a month. And won't it be nice when I can spend that $100 on something else each month? It will be like winning the lottery! I see fancy furniture and wonderful vacations in my future (paid in cash, of course!)

Paranoid much?

2006-08-21T11:11:00.000-05:00

Should I be at all worried that the entire Outreach department is in a closed door staff meeting and I wasn't informed? I keep waiting for the day when they figure out how very little I do around here....maybe they finally have and this is their way of saying "you're on your way out, so you don't need to come to meetings anymore"

Of course, the other reaction I have is being slightly miffed that they forgot me. Thanks guys....love you too.....

BAAAAA!

2006-08-20T13:15:00.000-05:00

So, I'm creating a blog....cause everyone else is doing it. I haven't even decided what kind of stuff I will talk about.....or whether I will tell anyone I know that I'm doing this. I was inspired by another blogger, a professional, if you will. Heather B. Armstrong has had me addicted to her website for a week now (needless to say I didn't get much work done). I am sure I will not be as candid as she is....only because that's not really who I am (and she gets a lot of hate mail.....which I just really don't feel like dealing with). But I do like how she writes about the day-to-day stuff....so that's what I will probably do.

Right now I'm watching as glorious lightning and thunder producing storms are going all around us. What is it with Nashville and the weather? Storms and snow avoid us like the plague. If only I could move about 30 miles in ANY direction....but, instead, I stay in Nashville proper and watch as our neighbors to the north, south, east and west get all the good stuff. *sigh*